Ups and downs and all arounds

roller coaster!

Pain sharper than a knife

Love vaster than the ocean

Words of hurt and strife

Dizzying, my heart spills open

 

What did I do wrong this time?

a few words gone astray

your reaction like a slap to the face

and then you simply run away

 

Confounded, confused,

my heart continually abused

for some reason I stay

My heart I cannot pull away

 

Does love mean

to endure through betrayal?

Every beat, there's a wound

beating down on me like hail

 

Look here, look there

they say "come to me I swear

I'm the one who loves you"

Just what am I supposed to do?

 

When our hearts finally mend

sewn up as one again

Just to be torn apart

Another lonely broken heart

 

This trial weighs me down

Was I not supposed to cave?

Give the truth, walk away

and pray to God they would be saved?

 

I can't remember how it happened

but I remember how I broke

tears falling, saying I love you

this time on my words I did not choke

 

Lord I do not know if this was your plan

or what your path has for me

but I will try to love as you do

as vast as the largest sea

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

uuum... what do you think? =/

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Poem tells a true story of life. We can go from joy to pain in a few words. I like the story and the description was very good in the poem. Life can be roller coaster ride. We must hold tight to the good things. A excellent poem. You are a very good writer.
Coyote

[SilentChaos16]

Interesting.

[Boris Jonathan Novak]

Your best yet, in my opinion. Very much drawn from the heart, and then painfully struck into words that run deep. This stanza sums up the repetition of hurt and pain in a dysfunctional relationship:

"When our hearts finally mend
sewn up as one again
Just to be torn apart
Another lonely broken heart"

It's when we realize this that we know it's time to part for always, and run from that pain. Beautiful work.

[jerr]

i think this is an amazing poem. i think all this it true and it has to come from the heart to say things like them. my fav part was (Look here, look there they say "come to me I swear I'm the one who loves you" Just what am I supposed to do?)






"

[Not A Writer]

Good poem. I like it personally. Shows alot. Keep up the good work.

[Livana Lowell]

Since you were so kind to review my poem(s), I want to return the favor.

The last lines meant so much to me. A ramble between trusting God. I can so relate to it. Through all the pain, and through the hurt through life, you trust God not knowing what awaits you in the following path we call life.

It says so much that I think even if it didn't ryhyme I'd love to just read it over and over and its just like peering into a mirror and then I can feel and see the feeling when I read it.

I just love it and it really strikes me deep within the heart. As so many have put it, it is a great poem and one of my favs:).

[Maestro]

O_O My god, I had no idea you had it in you!! Very powerful..."indeed"

[Mr. Misanthrope]

On sites such as these, and many, many others, you will find that rhyming poems are becoming less popular with each passing day. Instead, we are seeing a new breed of poems opening up, ones that are modern, ones that do not rhyme, ones that their authors like to call 'artistic' and 'original'. I shall not discriminate against such poems, as I write in that genre too. I blame this development on the misconception that everyone thinks poems should rhyme, so they deviate from the norm. They think that if they rhyme, the poem will look clich�d, corny, and boring. This is sad, for it always depends on the skills of the writer to grip his or her readers. Which is why I must commend you on writing such a traditional poem. While the font has nothing to do with it, it did remind me of times in old movies when people used to use typewriters. But more importantly, the fact that you rhymed in this poem without boring me, which is the only thing today's modern teen trash seems to be doing, is a feat in itself. I loved this poem. It's quaint and original (even if that word has become slightly dysfunctional over the years). There are a few grammatical errors in some of the phrases, but nothing too bad.

Great read!

Luke

[ttom]

What's beautiful about this poem is how it explains how God comes to us in our pain. The last stanzas show how his love comforts us an how we can grow through the suffering, both as a person and in our relationship with God. Very well done.