Seasons of Regret

Read and review pleaaaaaaase :)

The skies are pale as crystal tears fall,
The wind blows the sail as he gives up on his all.
The water churns while she starts to wail,
And her wrist burns as she bleeds by the hail.
He waves one last goodbye like winter,
Crystal tears come fast as her heart finally splinters.

Now she only cries when it rains,
She buries his lies and hides her pain.
He does the same as flowers bloom,
He kisses his dame as the thunder booms.
Though he misses her song she used to sing,
He wonders if her heart has healed this spring.

Though long is the day, short are her thoughts,
Though getting okay she cherishes still a necklace he bought.
Often she stands and sways in the gentle the breeze
As she thinks of the days before he took his leave.
More of her is on his mind as the sun rises,
The summer thoughts slowly increasing in sizes.

She stays inside to watch the color change,
Wearing her deer hide and thinking thoughts strange.
The waters are rough but he won't give up this time,
He's always tough until he thinks of her still sublime.
She tries to survive still without his love,
He tries to arrive before seeing an angel above.

The water he sails is so deathly calm,
Every time he fails his life slips from his palms.
She closes her eyes, and succumbs to the cold,
He regrets every lie and wishes she was still his to hold.
The snow crunches beneath his feet as he comes to the door,
His wail is heard through all the sleet for she is not alive anymore.

Author's Note

I kinda fucked up the ending but eh whatever, I hoped you liked it :) please review :)

Reviews

[Travis Green]

I love the words that were chosen for this piece. The imagery is very captivating. It definitely made me think about life and everything that surrounds it. The rhyme scheme is really good and I love the words The snow crunches beneath his feet as he comes to the door. Crunches was a very powerful word in this sentence. Its the choice of words that we use in any of our poems to make them that more powerful. Good use of words again. Great work.

[KeeD]

I love the expressiveness and imagery of the poem, gives room for thought and reflection. Great write Amanda :)

[de_maruf]

nice

[Moon]

Well expressed with the perfect words . This is lovely Manda !

[CreativeStroke]

Sorrowfully written and expressed beautifully. I love the ryhme scheme you had going on and I thought it worked out really well for this piece. At a few spots your flow got off beat a little bit, but nothing major and it was still a wonderfully written piece.

[_]

MAMA BEAR THAT WAS AWESOME!!! Pffft the ending was great! :D Let me start with the rhymes....I love me a good rhyme!!! ooooo it was like sugar!!! anyways the concept of it relating it the seasons and the change of time was wicked!!! I didn't like it....I LOVED IT! WOOT WOOT!!! ^(^o^)^

[Jordan's Back]

The sorrow the piercing arrow of heart break, the Relentless cry of the broken lover.. This is a spell-bounding Heart Wrenching Write. Excellent. The ending perfectly fits the piece, its not fucked up at all by the way silly :P

[Carolann Dowsett]

So amazingly beautiful, such loss and sorrow for the love one lost. Excellent writing.

[Amanda]

Thank you :)

[Carolann Dowsett]

Welcome :)

[Ahmad Cox]

Wow, very powerful and gripping yet beautiful at the same time.

[Amanda]

Thanks dude :)