'Fly'

True story, inside a prayer...

‘Fly’
Written by C.Z.Mendelssohn
Copyright ©1st April 2013

I’m putting my hands together
Placing them in a prayer position
Calling out in silence…
Asking to let the memory of my never seen child
To run on …
Asking for the 18 year memory to be free
To grow giant white wings and fly…
Tears flow, flood my face, as we part ways
Before I see the outlines of the blinding light 
The light which is my offspring, unknown…
I call out “Stop, stop please”…
She stops...
“I thank her for being, my kid…”
“For giving me this song poetry to write”
I tell her we will do all the Father daughter things 
We will do them all…
Just not today…
Sometime in the future
“Go fly, fly on with your adult sized wings”
“Be not like me, 
Worry not about me,
Be better than me”
“See that guy there?”
“That guy needs a guardian angel…”
“Go you can help him…”
“Take care, you are free & fly remembering that…”
I now close this prayer…
“I love you always…”
A pew wet with tears…
I say “Amen”…
And leave, a weight lifted from myself …
==========================================
“I always thought the child miscarried at 3 mnths, in ’94 would be a girl.” “See you soon kid”. Valentina Bhatti-Thrupp miscarried at 3mnths, I have a 2% doubt she was ever born, see you up there …” (Thrupp is my old name, the rest of the name is irrelevant)

Reviews

[annie lee]

This resonates with me. Four pregnancies, one child. We will always ache because of the emptiness in our arms. The words not said, the stories not read, the comfort not given, the scraped knee not kissed -- all part of a vast secret world we keep protected from the rest of the world. Your words say to me that there are many of these protected worlds being sheltered and cherished. The loss never leaves, the hole in your heart never closes.