Drowning

You are just like an old washing machine

That is running on a cold eco-wash  

You consume me, soak me, drown me, drain me

Spin me round and round and spit me back out.

Reviews

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

I like this poem and the relatable emotion it conjures. We all can definitely identify with your words and the turmoil of love from which it speaks to. Thank you for sharing your poem with us.

[Suzanne O'Brien]

Thank you so much for your feedback Carlos, it is really appreciated.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

You are very welcome, Suzanne. Continued success on your writing journey. Keep on writing and sharing your art with us.

[Suzanne O'Brien]

Hi Carlos, ive been working on it some more today and wondering if you'd be able to give me further feedback? Ive added in more imagery to convey the feeling of being trapped. Do you think this is integrated well? thank you so much in advance.

You are just like an old washing machine
that is running on a cold eco-wash.
You consume me, soak me, drown me, drain me
spin me round and round and spit me back out.

Not knowing that you have rusted the cogs,
that work inside my brain to keep me sane.
Not knowing that you have dampened my mind,
clouded my thoughts and shrunk all my feelings.

And you never give me the time to dry.
You just let me cry and toss me aside.
to a pitch dark, empty and airless room.
Letting me suffer in a crumpled mess.

I let you have the key to my body
Thinking that I could put my trust in you
But you took the key too seriously
And drained all the goodness out of me

I want to escape the lock I'm under
And let the cool fresh air blow straight through me,
under me, over me, and around me
Till the dirt you’ve stained me with blows away.

But instead, I just pick myself back up
despite the heaviness of my body
And I cling to you like a wet t-shirt
Not wanting to face the world on my own.

And I plead you to iron my creases
For you to erase the damage you caused
But you just replace them with new creases
Ones even more prominent and pronounced

I just need to learn to handwash myself
And nurture what is left inside of me
And clean away the dirt, the germs, the smell
Of you.