Transformation

December 2008; from the perspective of my older brother, who doesn't have a relationship with my father.

As I sit here thinking of the past,
the present
the future,
and everything they represent,
the cherry on the tip of my cigarette reminds me of his face,
never a smiling face,
always frowning,
sitting at his desk,
encased in his extracurricular hobbies,
never one to bring up his own children.
He smoked the same brand as I do now.
Am I turning into a replica of the man I once loved,
yet now so hate?
God, please save me from this transformation,
and I will never
ask for anything
ever
again.

Reviews

[Plexiglass]

Ok at the core of this poem is something that is very emotional and very potent but I'm afraid that there are several lines covering up the strength of it. In this poem since it is called transformation I want to see more of that. My favorite line from this poem is the one about the same brand of cigarettes. That's potentially a terrifying realization and I think this poem would profit from more of such realizations. Besides elaborating on the other ways the speaker and the father are alike I would be interested in why this is such a bad thing. You get a sense of it of course, but I think there could be more of it. And besides that I would try to make sure every line had to be there. I don't know about you but I feel like its hard to write about stuff like this and I almost feel raw inside about it but if that can come out on the page it helps and can make a great poem. So good work, so so sorry for such a winded review, I enjoy your writing.

[Poeticpiers]

How very sad and so often true. There is a tendency to adopt ones fathers values as one matures