Little Darling

December 2008; about my little half-brother, Mikey.

Little boy,
little darling,
if I had just one wish,
just one demand,
just one courageous request,
I hope that you're not like me;
I hope that you know you can take this life
and lead it away
to places unknown.
I hope that you know you can take this life
and make it better,
better than the things
I've always known.

Reviews

[Plexiglass]

Ok so this is a good poem but it feels like a good start of a poem. One that I think can be very powerful and and honest. But right now I feel like you're only scratching the surface of what this could be. More than anything this feels like the first stanza of a longer poem. One thing though, I'd be careful at becoming to sentimental with the piece because it could dilute the effect and the sincerity. I think specific examples and imagery help with this. Some teeny line edits I'd make would be to: take out just in the 3rd line, maybe cut out the 5th line to pick up the pace of the poem and prevent redundancy, take out "away" in the 8th(?) line, and I kind of want something besides "life" in the 4th to last line. But just nitpicks, I enjoyed it and I hope you think about extending it.

[MrsCullen713]

This is one of my favorite poems by you, Emily. I can totally relate to it, as I've said before. All we want is the best for our little brothers. It's written so well and the meaning is just so...deep. I love it and I love you.