Nightmare

Nightmare

A Poem by Aurora Dawn
"

Poem version of the story

"
Everything is silent, besides The pitter patter of the rain.
I can't feel the pain.
The water keeps rising, I keep on walking,
I can't hear their talking.
I become dazed and fall to my knees,
"Whats happening? Who the hell am I?"
Someone please, hear my pleas. 
I start to cry. Tears burning my eyes. 
Nothing above me but rain and grey skies. 
Try to stop the screaming, 
My life has no meaning. 
Try to stop the bleeding,
Try to end the needing.
This nightmare just wont seize. 
Still on my knees. 
"Oh God help me. Please forgive me"
Someone just hear my plea. 
Waking up is the headrest part, 
Praying when you go back to sleep it wont restart. 

© 2012 Aurora Dawn


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

I noticed three things when I was reading this piece.
1) When you mention how the nightmares just won't stop, you used the word seize. I believe you mean cease as in to stop.
2) When talking about waking up, you used to word headrest. I believe that you mean hardest.
3) When talking about how the nightmares won't stop, you said wont. I think you neglected or didn't notice the apostrophe. It's won't.
Thank you for listening to this grammatical and spelling review. On to things more philosophical. When you asked about who you were, I don't think the wording you used applies correctly. Accordingly, it would be a place. That's just a personal view, however a few people will agree. This poem is kind of abrupt. Your walking and then your on the ground, dying more like. It's very interesting. Although the abruptness definitely seems to add an air of mystery to this work. Nicely penned, thanks for listening.
Best regards,
Dell

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

being in that phase is actually being in a transition..
like i can say evolving .. i have gone through and i know how much it takes to get back ..
but i tell you, the best works in life are produced in these transitional phases ..
very nice work .. and very touching ..

Posted 7 Years Ago


I agree completely with Dell, I noticed those three errors as well. This is still a very beautiful and expressive piece, and I believe that you did a great job.

Posted 7 Years Ago


The overall sense of the word nightmare is conveyed well in this piece Ive had very few dreams that turn into a nightmare. Impressive work.

Posted 7 Years Ago


I noticed three things when I was reading this piece.
1) When you mention how the nightmares just won't stop, you used the word seize. I believe you mean cease as in to stop.
2) When talking about waking up, you used to word headrest. I believe that you mean hardest.
3) When talking about how the nightmares won't stop, you said wont. I think you neglected or didn't notice the apostrophe. It's won't.
Thank you for listening to this grammatical and spelling review. On to things more philosophical. When you asked about who you were, I don't think the wording you used applies correctly. Accordingly, it would be a place. That's just a personal view, however a few people will agree. This poem is kind of abrupt. Your walking and then your on the ground, dying more like. It's very interesting. Although the abruptness definitely seems to add an air of mystery to this work. Nicely penned, thanks for listening.
Best regards,
Dell

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

431 Views
4 Reviews
Rating
Added on December 15, 2012
Last Updated on December 15, 2012
Tags: poem, nightmare, rain, pain, screaming, bleeding, waking up, praying, god, talking

Author

Aurora Dawn
Aurora Dawn

Boise, ID



About
Hi. I'm Aurora. I just kinda write about anything at any time. If I have an idea I write it down and soon it blossoms. I like writing poetry and short stories mainly. Veni. Vidi. Vici. more..

Writing
Dark Dark

A Poem by Aurora Dawn



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..