Prologue

Prologue, I put this as chapter 1 in Wattpad but here I decided to change it to prologue. It's in first person and so it's like the main characters inner thoughts.

I know that you won’t ever love me the way that I do to you, it’s something that I had known way before it came to this, but I loved you anyway. I know that you love her instead of me and that you have the papers ready for me to sign. Papers that you hid in the compartment under your desk. I know that you thought I wouldn’t find them. That I was in the dark and that I didn’t know that you would meet her late at night when you would call me to tell me that you were staying late. I wish that you had still wanted me. That you still loved me and still cared for me like you did when we were first together. I’m losing sleep and you aren’t there to comfort me. You are no longer there for me, to talk to me and love me the way you did when we were together. The best friend that you were supposed to be for the rest of my life.

I hate her. I hate that she completely enamored you and snatched your attention. Though I guess that just shows that you hadn’t loved me enough to stay. That you hadn’t loved me enough to ignore her and avoid her advances. You just let her snatch you away without any thought of me. You must have loved the thrill of having a scandal. Although, I guess it was also my fault for being swept away by you and making hasty decisions. I had guessed that this was going to happen. But I hadn’t thought that it was going to happen so soon.

I should have known that it was not going to end well I-No, there is no point in regretting now. I shouldn’t regret because at least I had you for a bit of time. Something that I should cherish alone. I knew that you should never know because I knew that you would just use it against me. Especially now when you are trying to escape the bond between you and I. A bond that will be forever broken, one that you don’t care for. I know that you don’t care because of your lack of affection towards me and how you seem to think that I’m the bad person. Putting all the blame onto me of each and every one of your mistakes.

I have a secret though, one that I’ve kept hidden from everybody, save for a few. A secret that you will never know of. I know how much you had supposedly said that you loved family. You had confessed once before and another in the fight we had recently, none too kindly either. It was as if you were telling me to do it. To bind you forever to me; to have us both suffer for the rest of our lives. But I’m not that kind of person. No, I had vowed as a child that I wouldn’t let myself suffer the way my mother had with my father. How she had stayed with him because of her timid nature and how my father had stayed because he didn’t want a child of his to become a b*****d in the eyes of society. How they were bound together because of a baby, in other words, me. It was a secret I had vowed to keep, nobody knew except for my doctor who was one of my trusted and loyal friends. She had sworn to secrecy, reluctantly, and was a great gain because I knew that I would need a friend in the months to come.

You weren’t there anymore to see me change little by little. To see me get up in the early hours of the day and run to the bathroom. It didn’t take long for me to start feeling sick despite the baby not even showing. No, you were instead with your lover meeting secretly, either that or actually working late in the office. But who actually knew when you had gotten your sweet secretary onto your side. The b***h wouldn’t even let me know if you were there anymore. You must have bribed her with enough money to keep her lips sewn together.

I can feel that soon you were going to bring out the papers. The papers that you believed were going to break me. Which they were, but I wasn't going to let you see. You don’t deserve my tears and I am confidant that you will not see me fall apart on the outside. You won’t see how much it will affect me because you don’t deserve it. Nor do you deserve me to chase after you, like the way that you most likely think I’ll do. I won’t be like those women on soap operas and few in real life, whom I’ve met, because I know how it ends. I won’t stand for being a toy and later discarded. I know I’ll make it because I have my baby and I know that I’ll survive because I have to. It’s something that I need to do and nothing will get in my way.

Author's Note

I apologize for any errors that I didn't catch.