Art of Understanding People.

One of the most common mistakes people do when attempting to understand each other is labeling them if they didn't understand the intention behind their behavior. For example you could label a person dumb for doing something that appears non-logical to you but as soon as you understand the reason behind his actions you might find that you were mistaken.

Calling someone idiot, mad or nuts is sometimes nothing more than a way to help yourself become familiar with his acts. We humans don’t like vague things and that’s why we rush to define everyone’s actions from our perspective just to feel that we understand them.

How can you understand people and the human nature?

Why do some people act in a weird way and what is the nature of their behavior? The main reason people fail to understand others is not that some people act weirdly or in a strange way but it’s because most people aren't aware of their own human nature.

Because of our human nature we always make the mistake of trying to fill gaps with the information we have without thinking for a moment whether the information we have is enough or not and that's why many people fail to understand others correctly.

Understanding Human Nature

The first mistake humans make when attempting to understand other people is assuming that the same action happens as a result of the same intention all the time. If for example you like to show off in order to grab attention then it’s completely wrong to assume that all showy people want attention because some of them might be doing it for a different reason.

Based on our human nature we also tend to look at the behavior without looking for the underlying reason. If we saw a child stealing we will quickly assume that the child is ill mannered but if we knew that the child is doing so just to direct his parents attention towards him his behavior can make a lot of sense.

When attempting to understand others you must know that based on the human nature all the activities that seem odd, weird or irrational were developed in order to serve very rational goals. For example, the criminal who kills people for no reason is considered psycho by the society but when finding out that he used to feel inferior as a child and the only way he found to feel superior was to become dangerous we can then understand him better.

When attempting to understand people your human nature is the only thing that can lead you astray. By learning how to look at the underlying reason behind a behavior and by learning how to not judge others without seeing the full picture you will certainly understand people better.

By understanding your own human nature and the thinking patterns that result from it you will certainly understand people with very little effort.

The right way to understand people and the human nature

Do you ever say everything that comes across your mind? No one does that of course, after all it’s very less likely that you will go to a stranger and tell him that his haircut looks horrible.

As soon as you feel something but never show it your mind displays it unconsciously in your gestures. For example when people feel uncomfortable or uneasy about something they usually fold their arms without noticing.

So what does this has to do with understanding people and the human nature?

Imagine you were talking to someone about something and suddenly he folded his arms, even though he said nothing you can be sure to a great extent that you said something that made him feel uncomfortable. So knowing what's going on in someone's mind is possible provided that you understand all of these unconscious gestures.

How to understand people better

A friend of mine had intense hatred towards her school, she used to explain to me how much she suffers every morning on her way to the school and how horrible she feels at the end of each day and weekend.

Whenever my friend told her friends and or relatives about her problem they always gave her the same answer, "Be strong, everyone has been to school, why do you want to be different" Sadly their answer reflects how poorly they understand her because if they knew anything about the way she feel at the end of each day and weekend, they would have never said that.

We are not the same!!

"Be strong, everyone has been to school, why do you want to be different"

This answer stems from the false belief that states that everyone is identical while the truth is that each one of us sees the world differently based on his own past experiences.

If dogs ran after a six years old child he might grow up fearing dogs while if the parents of another guy bought him a small pet dog when he was six then he might grow up loving dogs. If the second guy saw the first feeling uncomfortable because a dog was passing by he might think that he is a coward!! The main reason the second guy thought that the first one was a coward is that he judged him based on his own belief system. For the second guy dogs are not harmful so why on earth would someone fear them?

To understand people you must feel their emotions

The "be strong" advice stems from another false belief which states that we all have the same level of tolerance towards different events but the truth is that we are completely different. A person might love to stay at home while another could suffocate if he spent few hours without interacting with people.

In order to understand people you don’t just need to put yourself in their shoes but you need to feel the emotions they experience. The first fatal mistake that can prevent you from understanding people is judging them based on your own belief system.

In Summary, If I were asked to summarize the art of understanding people into few words I would have said that in order to understand people better you must live their past, feel their emotions and think using their minds.