This falls under the category of "I have no clue what my muse was" :-)
I think I wrote it before the "Asylum" poems, so it may have been the muse for those...
The changes in tempo were intentional.
My Review
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This shouts uncontrollable helplessness at the hands of 'others'...
I have not read your other poems, however, this makes me reflect on many other ways people feel the same sense of helplessness..without escape....
Old Age...the elderly...being trapped in a body so very old and incapable of doing what his 'mind', so vital and youthful still, is screaming for it to do; yet the reality of being held captive in the shell he now occupies is a journey to insanity in one way...there is not escape...until death...
or
diseases that take the mind, like Alzheimer's...
I am sorry...I am too sad to continue this discussion....
Your writing has gripped my heart ever so deeply...I am being crushed as I write this...that is what poetry is supposed to do...reach and connect to the reader....
Well, you certainly have....
I pray your future writing reveals a hint that you have found or glimpsed into the sunlight again and have touched beauty in all its innocence, and it has in return embraced you in its arms.
Celia
Posted 17 Years Ago
3 of 3 people found this review constructive.
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I love it! =) Excellent write.
you don't love me,
only lust me.
I have heard that write out my ex's mouth one day. Whatever your muse was it did a great job!
This is a very convincing piece with an ominous ending. The language and rhythm are fragmented, with a neurotic sort of to-and-fro. It really paints the picture quite vividly.
I particularly like the 'you say that you would die for me', go on, prove it conclusion.
Its fierce and has a lot of spunk, this poem.
P.S: A belated thanks for reviewing the monkey piece. Much appreciated.
This shouts uncontrollable helplessness at the hands of 'others'...
I have not read your other poems, however, this makes me reflect on many other ways people feel the same sense of helplessness..without escape....
Old Age...the elderly...being trapped in a body so very old and incapable of doing what his 'mind', so vital and youthful still, is screaming for it to do; yet the reality of being held captive in the shell he now occupies is a journey to insanity in one way...there is not escape...until death...
or
diseases that take the mind, like Alzheimer's...
I am sorry...I am too sad to continue this discussion....
Your writing has gripped my heart ever so deeply...I am being crushed as I write this...that is what poetry is supposed to do...reach and connect to the reader....
Well, you certainly have....
I pray your future writing reveals a hint that you have found or glimpsed into the sunlight again and have touched beauty in all its innocence, and it has in return embraced you in its arms.
Celia
Sounds like the ride is escape in a wicked and wild way! Sedate and then berate...sounds like the shrinks office at the asylum alright...damned if you and damned if you don't....why would you wanna be you under such circumstances??? You've captured something here for certain.
~Lorraiyne
That reminds me of one of my exes to whom I would write at times, "Lustu." Lol. There is nothing wrong with lusting somebody if it is mixed with a healthy heaping of good love as well.
What was your muse smoking, and is she sharing it? Lol. Great write.
this sets a curious reader like me up for wondering. i have not read your asylum poems, but i gather such intent was perhaps written for personal reflection?
4/7/08
When my "Phobia" contest is completed April 18th, and winners have been chosen and notified, I'll be leaving the cafe indefinitely to focus on my family, as well as my first book and website. .. more..