Empty Am I

Prologue   

Empty am I, as your crystalline irises journey upon me and within me. A heavy weight they are - those twin gems of inebriating penetration. I can feel you beneath me and above me, sliding and whispering and brushing; on a quest that has you under my skin and filling my hollow lungs. I breathe you in, hold you there, but release you I cannot.

   For the spaces within me remain vacant and gaping, screams and pleas echoing painfully from the recesses of my being. I need you to become me and fulfill me - for even this brief moment suspended and frozen in time - and banish this coldness that lingers on. So I cling to you, praying for eternity, wishing for life. But it shall elude me.

   So settle I must, for this.

For this fleeting brush of silk against silk, and breath mingling with breath.

   For this puff of passion and the quiet cries of pain.

For this burning of flesh and the ambrosial release of liquefied salt.

   For this sweet agony and the excruciating rapture.  

For this softness of breast against breast and silken hair twisting with silken hair.   

Empty am I, as you withdraw. Take away your heat you do, and with it, my warmth. Your eyes - once gems of sparkling vitality, the velvet chains that brought me to life - sweep over me, a hollow examination that leaves me frozen and vulnerable. My breath rasps, my heart stutters; the time has come.

Eyes encounter eyes, knowledge knows knowledge, and misery meets misery. Victims and criminals are we. For with the pleasure that was the masquerade of pain and the suffering that was sheathed in the bliss, we have freed ourselves and enslaved the other.

Leave you will, as you must. Here I will remain, broken and whole, filled and empty, desiring you and loathing you. One night we had, one day to forget. For under the sun our shame shall be harsh and callous. Faults and lesions that become shadowed in darkness will be thrown into sharp relief. And there is nothing we can do. So we shall cling to this memory, and we will remember. But throw it away we will try. Hide it and suppress it, we will.

   We must move on, yet we shall remain at a standstill. We will carry on as the closest of strangers and the most distant of friends. A memory this shall become; one that we will recall with both shameful disdain and pleasured remembrance. A conquest and a defeat; this night will meld into the next, and the next and the next after that. Until all that we are left with is a blur, a tearing of flesh and the melding of body and soul.

   Under the stars and overlooked by the cold, distant moon, we lay twined and apart, together and alone, united in passion and disconnected in suffering. The air has chilled and the atmosphere has been pulled taught under the relentless pressure of our burning emotions that lay frozen behind our eyes. The false warmth has faded and the pleasure long gone.

   Curtains of flesh are drawn over tired eyes, and slowly we seek another form of release. Our chests move as one, as slowly we slip away - just for now. Here we shall remain until the bright kiss of morning invades our secret hideaway and into the real world we must venture. Part we will, and meet again we shall not.

For we had the night and lost the night.

   Perhaps another will cross our path, and then another and another. But alone we must move together, and maybe, just maybe, we will find that one who will free us from this eternity of isolation. There must be warmth that does not fade away, come morning; a heat that remains and endures. So each night we shall seek that everlasting heat with another, and perhaps - for a moment - we will find it. But then it shall disperse and fade away, leaving only the phantom touch of its presence.  

With this heat and that ferocious chill, that fulfillment and this hollowness we will meet and we will part.

Empty am I; Empty are we.  

Author's Note

Please ignore grammar issues, I know they are there and I would just like general review.

Reviews

[Abizar Bagasrawala]

This is beautiful in the truest sense of the word. It is very passionate and personal, and yet nebulous. I'm sorry but at my current stand I cannot criticise this. I must simply admire.

[Ranger Kessel]

The last full paragraph speaks to me. Nice job. Well written:) Keep it up!

[Tash Hill]

Thank you very much for leaving a comment! I will hopefully keep it up, lol.

[NoelHC]

Oh my god, the language and combination of words you use, you have called this a story, but it could have just as easily been "poetry" that you could have selected from the drop down list.
The whole "opposites" theme running throughout this writing was so powerful and showed so well the turmoil.
I am so impressed with this.

[Tash Hill]

I have no idea what to say, other than an exuberant thank you. This piece was written in the throes of a total teenage heart break moment, lol. Thank you for continuing to review my works.