Pianissimo, Then Fortissimo

Inspired by our marching band music :P

A murder scene and piano keys

Form an orderly line,

In tune as a quiet melody.

The black and white drips with red,

A dark bleeding note.

In comes the harmony.

The gun flows well,

A crack like a snare drum,

Odd and alone.

The emptiness drips blood,

Creating the rhythm,

Setting the broken tempo.

The piece starts up again,

The snare drum stuck on repeat.

The piano keys,

Fallen silent,

Drip blood and wine.

Broken glass crashes to the floor

And the snare drum is stuck on repeat. 

Author's Note

Please leave reviews. I spent a bit longer on this than I usually do.

Reviews

[Starr Mist]

Hey!
Very good! I like the imagery and the description.

Some things I think would help this poem is if you add some commas in there to help the flow. There's a difference in this example of "The dog ate my homework." and "The dog, ate my homework." you have a little pause in there so it puts emphasis and more emotion to the piece.

Good work!

[shunik]

haha
this is wonderful
=]

[Lilmissy1996]

Oh my gosh!! I love the imagery!!

[Chris]

Quite a choreographed event... now for the players and key?

I did like where you took it... and wonder now where you'll TAKE it.

[quarintine_deathangel]

That was mind blowing. Literally Kaboom! One very individual poem. The soundary was perfect! and as I'm imagining this song playing I see a whole murder scene completely in synchronization to the actions taking place. Your onamotapeias were perfect with your poem's flow. I don't think any part of this wasn't completely shocking and somehow musical. An excellent, enveloping, shocking and loud write. Amazing job!

[MoriartyMesa]

Reminds of a Dethklok song,


I dig