The Fight Within The Fight

Grant me strength to see this through, as the battle comes closer. Believe in me, believe in myself, I can do this.

It's time to make it clear
There is no competition
People still worry
That winning you back is my mission

No, no, not since you left
Has that for a second been my priority
The protection of our little one
I put ahead of both you and me

You remember you abandoned both of us
And I became mom and dad
While you partied in your little apartment
Our baby forced me to hide my sad

Now you're with your fuckboy
And you think you can just take her back
Well guess again dear wife of mine
The balls to save my daughter from you
I definitely do not lack

The whole world watched you walk away
And even your family knows
I'm the best thing for this little girl
I've been the one cheering as she grows

Does it hurt that your little plan backfired?
You filing against me first
You thought you had the upper hand
And could get my money for your thirst

Lying to the judge was not a good start
And showing up dressed as a bum
Having no evidence to support your claims
While I had a library to search from

Now you kept my daughter late
Past the court ordered time
Claiming no gas money to bring her back
Now I have contempt documents, to send in after I sign

You talked from day one of using a pawn
Yet you're the only one playing games
Hell will freeze over before you have custody
Because God knows you're insane

All your texts filled with lol's
Like this whole thing is just a joke
And swore from day one being the mom
Meant you could take her any time you woke

She has no damn room there of her own
Sleeping in the same room with you and your trash
She comes home bruised and full of night terrors
And never cleaned so she has a rash

Maybe child services found nothing on you
But I think the judge will see clear as day
This is the house my child belongs
The place where she wants to stay

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Wow this is full of anger and defiance and hurt all mixed, and boy can I relate as my ex who I was with for 16 years left for a public school boy. You inject such emotion fresh and brittle in the style and word choice. I certainly wish you and your daughter win this one.

[Teddybearlee]

Knowing that my wife...was my everything, my future, my life, and knowing that I would still to this day forgive her, and that a part of me still fights for her consumes part of my mind..constantly, but the care of my daughter, is natural, it is innate, the bond people speak of with the mother and their kids, well, I don't think my wife had that, but I do...our daughter has a chance to grow up well with me, I say this out of truth, not disrespect, I am more intelligent, physically active, and attentive to her needs and wants than my wife could ever be. My wife became selfish and admitted as much as she left, this child is mine, and mine only as far as I'm concerned, unless a miracle happens. Thank you for the well wishes, and the understanding, and, well, reading my writings again, it feels great to have someone comment in a relateable manner!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I went through years of similar feelings. I had to waken up one day when my daughter, having reached teenage scolded me and told me that her mum was not coming back. Before that for almost a decade I lived with emotional turmoil and it still leaves its demons behind.

[Teddybearlee]

I hear you, and thank again for sharing such a personal part of your life. I have a feeling a similar thing will happen to me, my daughter is 4 now, and for a while, she use to say "you still love mommy?" "and i'd say "yes", then, after a while, I quit saying yes, because I don't want her holding on if she's only holding on because of me....and because of how my wife treats her, I have had to put those thoughts and feelings further on hold...i've said it plenty of times, she can walk all over me, treat me like s**t, insult me...but the second she brings my daughter in to things...I have to man up, and I am, and I do. But yes, years down the road, I may very well have a similar situation where my daughter sits me down and says, you have to move on...I still don't know if it will be enough, but my daughter is strong, and I see her doing such a thing as yours did...or maybe...a miracle will happen. Who knows, but thank you again, I truly appreciate you sharing your own experience, and my thoughts go out to you for having gone through this and the continuing demons that haunt you, maybe one day we will truly know peace.