When the Spiral Ends

I don't recall feeling this empty for so long
Is this numbness what people consider strong?
When you can't even cry because your so hollow
And the cuts don't hurt from the jagged pills you swallow

Time is just flowing through my fingers and I don't care
Walking through the whole of my days with an empty stare
I have no more hope left for the rest of my days
As I watch all the hair in the mirror go from brown to grays

I really don't know if I'm coming back from this trip down
I truly sought help but as they spoke I didn't hear a sound
The fake sunshines did nothing but increase the fog
I kind of get the feeling this is not my typical slog

Yes I guess we always feel like this is the end many times come
But it never gets easier when there's nowhere in your mind to run
All the wars repeatedly digging graves for your soul
How much is left and how much was burned like coal

Sometimes I wonder if it's a mental disease or if only we know reality
Life really can be as bad it seems, always alone and looking to flee
Do you know what it's like having to drug yourself to sleep
Or wandering through life to never have a moments peace

How is it that people can say that anything gets better
"Duty is heavier than a mountain, death lighter than a feather"
How's that when you walk around with the weight of the world
And the light isn't as bright as it could've been when it's pearled

Isn't it great that I don't even attempt to hurt myself anymore
The man of great emotion and love just another tale of lore
Long dead and gone just a mass going through all the motions
And all my beautiful memories constantly being swallowed by oceans