Without Having To Care

The thought of someone I loved dying used to terrify me as a kid, and now that it's happened I know that life goes on, but it's never the same.

I want to open up my eyes

and know I wont cry

as I discover you not standing there.

I don't want to forget

at least not yet, but

I want to miss you

Without having to care.

 

I remember cold days

when your love kept me warm

Sometimes I felt lost

and needed your arms

So I'd call out

When I needed you here

You'd hold out those arms

I'd soak your shoulders in tears.

Now I wipe those tears

On the back of my sleeve,

because one day you left

Without wanting to leave.

 

Now I see you every time I sleep

and my heart is

your memories keep.

but I wonder if you

are still out there

somewhere

Loving me,

without having to care.