"Hello"

Lonely is not feeling alone, it is the feeling that no one cares.

She always sat under that rotted willow tree

A pencil in her hand floating like the dead sea

Her hair covering her face from the outside

Trying to ignore anyone who tried

The sun was out but she was in 

Her thoughts screaming from within 

The willow tree was tall and wide

It hides the truth deep inside

It looked dead and sad as can be 

Nothing could cheer up that hopeless tree

Everyday was the same

Nothing changed and no one came

Only did she come silent and lost

Making sure she had her thoughts

To write down on paper so she did not forget

What had caused her to think the world was a threat

And although the tree was almost gone

I knew inside it’s trunk was dawn

A brighter piece than anyone could see 

Lived in her and that tree

There was hope that was deep below

Which is why I walked over and said “Hello” 

Reviews

[Kristan A. Mohammed]

IMMACULATE PIECE. I CAN TASTE THE SOLACE IN THE MOOD OF THE POEM. THE WORLD REALLY IS A THREAT. SOMETIMES IT FEELS RIGHT TO SHUT EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING OUT. I ESPECIALLY LOVED HOW YOU ENDED THE POEM WITH YOU WALKING OVER AND SAYING HELLO. IT KIND OF GIVES A SLIGHT KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR ESSENCE TO IT. GREAT JOB. WELL DONE.

[JD Jessop]

You do not suck as a poet. Keep writing. You are talented

[Laura3841]

Wow....you do NOT suck at poetry!

[Terrence Chang]

Tess why do you think that your poems sucks. I mean this is good. Awesome at the very least. I read nearly all of your poems to confirm that your writing is not bad. If anyone told you that your writing sucks, then they don't know literature. Don't ever think that your poetry sucks. In fact you write poems better then me.

[TheRealYou]

I really liked this prom and how it ended please give feedback for my writing

[Lizardo]

Wonderful poem, really, really nice. i like the line where it says: ''There was hope that was deep below wich is why is walked over and said hello''

[SonOfaSailor]

Hi Tess, I love this poem and am amazed by the realization that it brings to light. It makes me think of the Dawn that we experience everyday, or decide not to see. I'd like to read some more of your work :) Great job

[Jamie]

Such a good read and so powerful! Great work!

[Closing Thoughts]

Oh my goodness, this poem is so incredibly lovely! At first I thought this would be terribly sad. My heart started breaking for this poor girl and that poor tree. Yet it ended on such a hopeful and positive note. Sometimes all anyone needs is for someone to step up and say "Hello." You managed to create a beautiful story in a few stanzas.

I also adored the rhyme scheme, it flowed very nicely.

This is a wonderful poem. Thank you for sharing it

[tess]

Im really glad you enjoyed it and yes pretty much everything I write is sad so it came as a surprise when it ended happily. (: I wanted to show people how alone others can feel and just a simple hello can possibly save a life. Thank you for reading it!!