American Vintage

Conversations sometimes release the muse.

You are a classic American vintage.

Sweet, like the girl next door,
But dry, with sharp biting wit.
One needn't strain to see
The sparkle that bubbles to the top.
Worst of all, one taste
Begets a burning desire,
A perpetual need for
Yet one more taste.

You sneak up on a man
Like a good wine does.
Unaffected, or so he believes,
He is soon a bumbling
Mass of incoherence,
Unable to complete
The most simple of tasks.

In the end, pitifully dependent,
He writhes in gutting pain
For want of that one last taste.

Reviews

[theludus]

I think the strength of this is that it doesn't appear to set out to be more than it is. There's a nice ring of truth here that gathers itself up as the narrator is undone, and I think it's because the author didn't over reach with the metaphors etc. Perhaps the last 3 lines, rather than outrightly stating his demise, might be stronger if you went in the other direction slightly and pitched them in an understated, yet more direct manner.

Pitiful, and dependent,
the end comes
with something less, or more
than temporal pain--

For want of one last taste.

just an idea of another approach.

Really good.

[Phibby Venable]

i stumbled across this! I love it. wonderful and witty.
great images.

[Lola Lamont]

Mmmm, very smooth, very sexy, oh so torturous ;).

[Kristina Moulaison]

Oh to be this woman. Yet...I'm watching The Tudors right now, just before Ann Boylyn loses her sweet pretty little head. It hurts to be beautiful. Well written. I really felt the emotion behind this one and I enjoyed the tasty analogy. It stimulated the senses.

[SPINNING ON that dizzy ..]

Oh, I like this one. This is a very good capture of a situation - You sneak up on a man like a good wine does.....Gee, I think I have had days where this was my plan.... haha... All about the flirting and the tease and the snappy banter and the testing of the worthy opponent! Oh, dating.....

Kath

[kickstart gal]

Hmm, well, I think I'd rather be the intoxication than the hangover, for sure.

I like this. Nice comparison. Not too mushy. These lines: You sneak up on a man
Like a good wine does" where my favorites.

[Jinx's Heart]

Very comical. It made me smile at how true it seems with a good vintage of any alcohol. Well done. :)

[Emily B]

oh, my. I think yer Muse did sneak up on you. Even as pitiably sick as you are.

This is good stuff. Smooth; leaves a nice taste.