--- Summer In a Jar ---

Oh how I love summer evenings.

Oh how I love the twilight hour.
Soft breezes stir the wild flowers.

The smell of dinner fills the air.
I settle in my old lawn chair.

Thirst is quenched as ice cubes clink.
In lemonade, my troubles sink.

Blaze orange sunset ends my day,
as all my headaches drift away.

Sun slowly sinks in golden skies,
While children chase down fireflies.

They play and laugh, both near and far.
Catching summer ... in a jar.

Reviews

[Ashira Macy]

The charm of this one was in it's wonderful simplicity. It told a mundane story of the end of the day, but in a beautiful way. The reader is drawn in. Feels the wind, smells the dinner, tastes the lemonade, sees the sunset, and hears the children laugh. Five senses brought to life in a six stanza couplet poem with perfect meter. Bravo my friend, this was fantastic.

[T. F. Rice]

Jerry:

In general, nice, tight commentary on those good summers recalled, but it didnt make the winning spot in "The Other Herald's Summer Writing Contest". This was the last cut.

More specifically, I would like to encourage you to write without the limits of rhyme, because it seems a bit forced in this piece. The ending was so tight that you survived into the final few for this contest. I loved the idea of capturing summer in a jar. Very nice. This piece might be worth working on further and shopping it around elsewhere... never give up on it. This piece has promise!

Thanks for your patience. We had tons and tons of submissions for this contest, and we read/considered every one. Feel free to submit in the future, to our contests on Writerscafe.org, or by email to [email protected]. If you submit there, please do so as text in the email, and include basic information, i.e. name as you wish it to appear if published, short bio, and mailing address (for free copies, which are payment in every case). TOH is a monthly publication of literary works, writing contests, submissions opportunities, columns, articles of interest to writers, and much more. Check us out any time on www.tfrice.etsy.com where there are some back issues available (to buy, or to look at anyways).

Most of all, be encouraged to "write on" and know your submission was appreciated much.

Kind regards,
T F Rice
Editor of THE OTHER HERALD

[Pesto]

Absolutely beautiful. Impeccable meter and rhyme, and so soothing. By far one of the best in the contest. One thing, just an opinion and not a very important thing, I think the last line would be better without the ellipse. Otherwise, very nice.

[Cavol Forbes]

Not bad for a last minute poem. Good does come of these contests then. I like it but not how it begins. I think the it's not necessary to state how you feel all the time especially in a poem like this where all the following lines will show it. Great ending but "They play and laugh, both near and far" sounds like a filler line you put in there just to lead into the last and most meaningful line. Together, the last line just makes the one before it seem weaker by comparison.

[Joey J.]

This is really nice, and reminds me of The Garden, and the freshness of nature. Are you a fan of Marvell too? I'm glad I caught this in the happenstance of looking for new poetry.

Is "wildflowers" supposed to be more "wild'-flowers? It seems to be like a triplet. I don't think this matters as a fault though, because I sometimes have to read Marvell twice too. But, then, "lawn" has to have an extra beat, and it seems like I have to read this poem as its own grammar? But, I like that.

Fine Work.

[Lola Lamont]

This is such a sweet poem, I really love it. Excellent rhythm and rhyme, and the title is beautiful, definitely attracted me to reading the poem. Very well done.

[Silvia - Scribo, Ergo S..]

Summer in a jar - what a wonderful notion! wonderful poem, too. xxx

[Zane Mathias]

once again very well done i like the flow of this piece. i actually feel relaxed at work. lol

[Zane Mathias]

once again very well done i like the flow of this piece.

[Drew Scot]

Makes me feel as comfortable as "we'll leave the light on for you".
This is an easy flowing read. I really enjoyed it.
TruPeace
d.s.

[Gandré]

Fantastic! I read this and can smell your summer. A serious describing talent... bravo!