Salvation in my desk drawer

ever wonder if your counselor has ever gone through the same thing? felt how you felt? I do

 Today, I went threw the session with my patient, asking the normal questions and giving advise and tips and trick and all the usual counseling stuff that seems like a waist of time but actually isn't if you know what you're doing. She complied openly and listened closely, but she was also a little distracted; I could see it in her dark eyes. She was frustrated from thinking something over so at the end, I asked "do you have any questions? Something to say?"

 She watched me a moment, chewing her words, then "Do you actually understand what I'm going threw? Have you experienced depression like this?"

 I gave a small smile and replied "I do, and I have."

 The question hit me harder then I made it look. I needed to show confidence in the statement -not only to make her believe me, but to possibly give her confidence in me and herself that she can get better and I can help her do that... But still, when she felt, I let the front desk know that I needed a bit extra time before I met with the next in line. 

 I slumped in my chair and took some deep breaths. I still suffer depression; I take medication and I practice all the little exercise's I teach. I do this job because it makes me feel better knowing there are people like me everywhere and that I can help them, even if only a little. Still, my heart feels like its bleeding from sorrow so often and things like that question she asked get to me so hard sometimes... I can't help but think what I keep in the bottom drawer of my desk; the final salvation. I fight to put it out of my head. I want to be stronger then that, but...+

Author's Note

I've always wondered if my counselors have suffered anxiety and depression like I have; wondered if they really understand, but that's something one should never as their counselor I think. you just have to trust and never forget to show gratitude.