The Bigger Picture

Nostalgia

My mother dumped out all the pieces from the box,

Onto the worn beige rug in my family room.

And I stared at her like she was insane.

 

“How do you do this?” I asked.

 

I was maybe six or seven at the time, and all I saw

Was a million separate pieces scattered on the rug,

Like there was no way they could ever be coherent.

 

“Well, start flipping them over, and maybe try to find

Some corners or any two pieces that fit,” She told me.

 

I sat there for what seemed like hours,

Flipping pieces over, looking for matches,

And getting frustrated at the fact

That I couldn’t make the picture on the box.

 

“Look, these two fit together, so now you have a start!”

 

She looked so thrilled that we had a match,

Or maybe she just happy that I was happy,

So we sat there, and put the picture together

Until it was all done,

A miniature portrait of Disney World on the rug

In my family room.

 

“See? That wasn’t so hard, you just have to take the time.

Rushing isn’t going to get you anywhere,” she said with a smile.

 

I wanted to show the whole world what I had made with my mother,

Like I figured out some secret code that hadn’t been cracked for ages.

 

“Can we show Dad when he gets home?” I asked,

Being a proud, curious seven year old.

 

“Sure, we’ll leave it right here on the rug.

Why don’t you show your brother too?” She replied.

Reviews

[Lorraine]

It's reminiscent of the days back when we already take pride in little achievements. I like the childlike attitude and the carefree tone of this poem. It's a simple poem that even contains dialogues that surprisingly fit without appearing too poetic for a conversation.

Keep Writing. ^___^

[alesuriko]

Very nice. I normally don't think this structure of writing for poems but it fit the subject wonderfully. It expressed the joy that can come from something as simple as putting a puzzle together with a family member. The memory aspects was really good. Good family piece and good expression of accomplishment as seen through the eyes of a young child.

[Pareidolia]

I like the subject- it's a childhood memory that almost anyone can relate to.
But if you wanted to shorten this, I think that you could end the poem after the lines "A miniature portrait of Disney World on the rug/In my family room." Not that you need to- just a suggestion so that you might be able to look at this a different way.

[Dutch Jr.]

In this one you really did a good job of portraying the world through the eyes of your seven-year-old self, but with a twenty-year-old tone. Great job, and I can see a seven year old looking at the puzzle pieces like, "What the heck?"

Just one little typo: in line 3, it says, "And I stared at her like he was insane." I think the "he" should be "she."