To Be Numb

one of my husbands favorites

Maybe when I'm dead
I'll be numb enough
That's I've banished everything
Let everything slip
Fall into the darkness deep.
Where I long to banish it always
I want it all to slide through my mind
To where I can finally forget
But no matter how deep my trance
It won't leave me alone
 I close my eyes
That house
The way the shadows played
The way the pain
Leaves the walls stained
Dark with the countless years of blood
Time slit his wrists here.
The past is what soaks the floor where he lays
I so long to cut up the body
And bury it under the floor boards
I found as I ripped up the carpet
All the while thinking maybe I could escape
This rage haunting me
Yet I can't seem to turn away
I find it comforting.
Anything has to feel better
Then reality.
I'll offer my veins
To the first God that sets their claim
Anything to be numb
To find a place of no feeling