Memories and the Sharpness

Memories and the Sharpness

A Poem by TheLastEclipse
"

Oh, You will forever live.

"
And the feet beat like a drum on the bare ground.
The cement was wet and it made a unique sound.
We were young but I still remember
Who we were and of what were the embers
That burned as our youth.
It was just me and you.
We were the best of friends
And we were always singing, “The End”
And we would always find a familiar tune
Among my old albums by La Dispute.
And yeah, I know things change
But why could we not stay the same!
So I’ll go back to that place
And I will find your face!
I will remind you of how I feel!
I will remind you of youthful zeal!
Can’t you just stand happy?
Can’t you just stand happy?
And did you even see me?
I was patiently walking!
I had my hands in my pockets and my head to the ground.
The cement was dry and it made that crackling sound.
You stepped right by me, looking into my face,
But you continued onward and made your escape!
Why was I so scared to make my peace?
I should have shouted and yelled myself to sleep!
Because now I cannot even sleep a single hour
And I wonder- oh I wonder what gives you such power.
How can you be so controlling?
Get your ensnaring fingers out of me!
I will go back to that place
And I will find your face!
I will remind you of how I feel
And I will show you what you steal!
Can you not just stay happy?
Why can’t we just be-
Havoc ringing in my head, she is calling; she is-
Innocence dying until he’s dead, he is bawling; he is-
He is calling and calling and calling. He is-
God.

© 2014 TheLastEclipse


Author's Note

TheLastEclipse
Comment and say what you think. Honestly...

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Featured Review

The memories of lost love, the never ending sorrow, and the simple plea to just go back to the way things were before--lost love can be fleeting, and at times we can only bear to live in the past. I enjoyed this and it had a fluid flow to it; it read almost as if put to a melody. I do caution against using repetitive starts to lines, as they can stand out, and give your piece a bit of a run-on feeling.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TheLastEclipse

7 Years Ago

As always, critique and constructive criticism old chum. Appreciated and noted!



Reviews

Betrayal of a friendship or perhaps a relationship that fizzled out over the years. And then when there is a chance to get some sort of closure the other just walks on by. The end is what really got me going, with the interruptions of some of the lines it seemed frantic. It read like it could be a song. I liked it, well done.

Posted 7 Years Ago


TheLastEclipse

7 Years Ago

Thank you, madam. It is always lovely to receive a compliment from someone as talented as yourself.
This sounds very much like a song, i think i'd love it if it was actually.
MAKE IT A SONG! ;) My favourite line is "You stepped right by me, looking into my face,
But you continued onward and made your escape!" it just makes me think. I honestly think you've written this so beautifully, great job.

Posted 7 Years Ago


TheLastEclipse

7 Years Ago

Most definitely may make it a song. Speaking of which, have you heard any of my material? I post stu.. read more
Brook

7 Years Ago

I haven't actually. Tag me in something so I can see it!
This poem had me hooked up till the end. I felt the ending was a surprise; did not think it would be an ending as such. Then again, I forgot to read the little blurb by the title. Still I enjoyed reading the poem and thought it had a lot of emotions in it which made it powerful and made me hooked.

Posted 7 Years Ago


The flow of this speaks well and strong, not once did I want to stop reading this, by the 4th line I was hooked and wanted to finish this. I enjoyed this a lot, I can hear it being said to a melody.

Posted 7 Years Ago


The nostalgic story telling style of this piece works very well with its overall theme. The ending stanza also closes out this poem in epic fashion. Great work. A remarkable read. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


The memories of lost love, the never ending sorrow, and the simple plea to just go back to the way things were before--lost love can be fleeting, and at times we can only bear to live in the past. I enjoyed this and it had a fluid flow to it; it read almost as if put to a melody. I do caution against using repetitive starts to lines, as they can stand out, and give your piece a bit of a run-on feeling.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TheLastEclipse

7 Years Ago

As always, critique and constructive criticism old chum. Appreciated and noted!

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Added on September 15, 2014
Last Updated on September 15, 2014
Tags: memories, love, sorrow, heartache, benevolence, malevolence

Author

TheLastEclipse
TheLastEclipse

AL



About
I'm a writer of all sorts. Plays, Poetry, Music, and Tales. I started writing when I was twelve and I am much older now. It has been my passion since I first attempted expressing my ideas to a vide.. more..

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