And So I Watched You From Afar

I was listening to a band by the same name when I wrote this.

You are surrounded by two way mirrors

Your reflections reach infinity

Every image moves and breathes with you

As the world looks in wanting and needing

Make peace with the unnumbered

 

Before counting the numbered

Reviews

[Imara]

Interesting metaphor. As a general note, I love your work. It's so real, your metaphors make me really look for the meaning and are beautiful. Reminds me of the traditional poets. Ok onto this particular piece.
You set up a great picture, we the reader, are looking at the many versions of ourselves. Not just the physical many versions but the many personalities which we have. The image of the world looking it is perfect! Every one needing a little bit of you, maybe for work maybe to solve one of their problems. Everyone wants you to be in their life and such. Your last lines confuse me a little, what do you mean by the numbered and unnumbered. Please explain :)

My only critique is to remember punctuation again. Read it out loud find where you want the reader to pause.
Overall I love this piece, so complex and beautiful. Great Job :)

[Bradley]

The unnumbered is, as you have pointed out, you and everything about you. Any strength, any flaw will be reflected and multiplied infinitely (unnumbered,) and its up to you to be at peace with that. Then I skipped a line to let you take a breath and collect yourself before facing the numbered - the mass of individuals that, like you said, all want a little piece of you.

I chose to use 'numbered' because I think it implies a group of many individual units. If I said 'a sea of people' then that could be taken as one giant flowing mass of people instead of concentrating on the parts that make up that mass.

That being said, I try to write in a way that allows for individual interpretation and personalization. I am glad you were able to get as much from the poem as you did.

[Imara]

Ah! I read this aloud to my family and we thought that you were talking about maybe the unnumbered amount of people who might not like you. We were close. Such a deep meaning, and something so true. Great work :)

[Emily B]

this is top shelf work, i look forward to reading more of you

[Bradley]

Wow, thank you so much. I didn't expect that kind of praise.

[Emily B]

why wouldn't you expect praise for writing like this?

[Bradley]

Well, first of all, I only recently started writing and even more recently started putting it out there for people to read. Secondly, you're the first to say something like that, so it was unexpected.

[Emily B]

based on this, I would suggest that you expect praise more often :)