Tidying Up *

A poem prompted by a chance encounter with a love letter from the past...

Yesterday I was tidying up. You know how home is; it's cluttered, chaotic and messy. 

I waded into a sea of papers, objects, lots of things that needed to be thrown away. 

I'm a bit of a minimalist now and I'm a signed up convert with all the conviction of

the new and the naive. 

And I must admit that I found it quite easy to abandon my old possessions, see 

they're from a different time and I've changed since then. In some ineffable way.  

Frankly, it was cathartic to clear it all out. I felt like a snake, shedding an old skin. 

The heavy weight of the past could go in the bin. And I could try to look forward. 

The naive. 

What stopped me dead in my tracks though... was a letter of yours. You wrote with

such emotion and such care. My eyes looked beyond time, straight into your heart...

how it must have felt so many years ago. I think I finally understand just how much

I meant to you. 

You were so very proud of me; you thought we completed one another. Please 

forgive me. I have paid in tears and howls. I have had nights alone in bed, my 

eyes open in the dark. Torment and anguish. It's easy to say sorry and it's difficult

to repent. 

Everything is pretty much gone. But I will keep your letter. It'll be my own personal

transubstantiation. Whenever I am weak, alone, if there's ever a point when I feel

like I'm not enough... I will feel you in the paper. Your overflowing encouragement,

support and belief will never be forgotten. 

I am a better man for having met you.

I loved you in my own way.