A Promise

A Promise.

So fragile. So delicate. 

So beautiful.

A Promise made with trust, repels worry and resentment. 

A Promise, I wear on my finger, shimmers in the sun's light.

A Promise, ensures safety and happiness.  

Always enclosing us in a sense of belonging and care.

A Promise, swaddles me in sweet, sweet serendipity. 

A Love that we promised to stay true and keep forever. 

Nevertheless, A Promise is shattered. 

Only splinters of painful memories remain. 

No more closure, No more trust, No more shelter, security.  No more kisses, wrapped in honesty and created by smiles.  No more giggles.  

No more you.

No more promises. 

Reviews

[Trigorin]

It's decent writing and it's fairly well-done, but you couldn't have picked a more derivative topic to write about. There's a vast swath of female literature and poetry out there that is basically identical to this: it starts out very sweet and soothing and then ends up talking about a relationship and going on about how trust has been betrayed and so on and so forth and it's just such an old topic at this point. I mean, no matter how well the poem is written, and no matter what the sentiment you put into it, there's still really no draw that makes it any different from the rest.
To be frank, I'm somewhat disappointed, because you're obviously a talented writer, and yet you couldn't choose a more interesting topic, or even just spice up the topic you did choose to write about and make it really memorable. Your piece is technically well-written but there's really nothing to it that makes it stand out.

[Ezravis]

Wow. Very raw and visceral. Almost difficult to read in its honesty. Thank you so much for sharing that pain with me.

[TiffanyLynn]

Thank you for your response. Its always nice to hear true positive comments. Means a lot

[thesandman]

Art is suppose to be subjective. Your point of view is not the same as mine or anyone else's for that matter. Yes, many (if not all of us) have experienced the same thing. Art is how we convey it and, ultimately, how others interpret our work. In other words, there are no new topics, so if it's well written, then, well, it's well written.

[TiffanyLynn]

I agree that art is very subjective. I believe that poetry is as well. I have never taken any classes on the subject of how one is "supposed" to write a piece that is "socially well written". I am a young teenager of whom is just explaining feelings and lost emotions. I wrote this in a fast manor due to the fact I just needed to get words written on paper to keep my hands busy. Thank you for this perspective.

[TiffanyLynn]

I don't really know how this website works lol. i honestly have to say that i didnt think that anybody would really read them. thank you for this though(: (: