Overthinking Dreams

Streamlined

Wake up.

I will tell myself this in the morning

I will scream this in my dreams, 

when apparitions of her prey on my greatest insecurities

But reality offers a different perspective. 

It always does.

She's much different in reality

You will never get to know her as I do

Not even she will get to see herself from my point of view

In the dreams where she stabs me, curses me-

Wake up. 

I tell myself as I write

I scream it in the mirror,

when the steam clouds the mirror, and my head does the same,

making me pray I don't show my greatest insecurities 

But here's the thing.

When you walk freely among your dreams, well aware that 

Dreams are just that.

Dreams.

Well, the line begins to blur

Reality and dreams go hand in hand

And you can't escape

Because everything seems so real

Now, to me, I have an open wound where you stabbed me

I can hear your voice ringing in my ears,

Quite similar to a single voice in an empty cave,

telling me that I can't do what you need me to

I failed you...

Holy s**t... I failed you.

WAKE UP, wake up

BUT I"M AWAKE
I'm awake.

And the two-sided you that never existed

Makes me doubt everything.

My dreams become nightmares

And I wonder why it had to be you

I mutter the question to the ceiling, half-asleep

My chest rises and falls at an unreasonably high speed

My heart rapidly beating

As if the worst of my fears have been confirmed

Then I have to get up to turn the light on,

because for some reason I'm too scared to fall asleep in the darkness 

I'm too afraid to let it consume me like I sometimes let my dreams do

And as for you,

I know who you are, I know that my dreams don't make you, you

So don't worry

Dreams may have a deeper meaning, but they're not definite truth

And with each day, I realize, 

I haven't failed you

And no, you have never stabbed me