You're my poison

- 'What's your poison?'

Oh darling, 

please

decant me

a chalice 

of 

you...

I will 

inhale

your heady

aroma

and 

sip from it 

for 

all

 my days.

I will giggle

like a teen

on bubbles

that tingle

my 

blood.

I will get tipsy;

ramble...

incessantly...

of how utterly

captivating

you are.

I will get drunk

on the brew

of your love

and 

never be

hung-over

~

for I will 

never 

sober of 

you

Author's Note

toying around with pauses.

Reviews

[winter;lyra]

stop trying to get me into romance, gotta keep the manly hermit act! i can't resist the lyrical beauty of unwavering passion like this!

(i once, long time ago, wrote something named "sinful summer club", i dont know why but this combined with the color red reminds me of it)

[Tony Jordan]

Your edifices are crumbling from those tumbling and squelching cow carcasses Winter.
You'll be a quivering romantic again if you aren't careful.

I like autobiographical sound of 'Sinful Summer Club' - heh heh

[Shabeeh Haider]

This is how someone can get you drunk with just a look.
The title of being"poisoned' is a bit misleading, I think.

[Tony Jordan]

I think the word poison here has a different meaning than the literal one Shabeeh.
I take your thought on board my friend.
Thank you for reading and reviewing this one. :))

[Jstmds]

Really well written!
I find it quite fascinating how you use the pauses especially for the last 16 lines. Creates a very calm atmosphere while reading it. Quite a classic approach to love poetry and yet so unique, good work!

[Tony Jordan]

Thank you justus for your review - it helps me a lot.
:)

[Barbara Borel]

Most Beautiful. Very Romantic

[Tony Jordan]

I do want to be a romantic poet. It's hard to allow oneself to tap into that rich vein when it has already caused so much pain but when it wants to come out - it comes out - what can we do?
Thank you Barbara.

[Barbara Borel]

Thats they way it is for me . But the pain can be beautiful as well. Maybe that's emo but like you said what comes out comes out

[Tony Jordan]

Yes. The most visceral poetry is pain-driven I would imagine. I don't think that's emo at all Barbara.

[Pete]

creative, catchy and clever. how about a shot of hair of the dog that bit me? can't live with them & can't live without them. Kudos.

[Tony Jordan]

I think we all experience this in our life at least once. That feeling that you could simply NOT get enough of one person in your life - they must be 'The One' then, right?
Not quite, sadly.
Thank you Pete. I'll be over soon to review your writings my friend.

[barleygirl]

This is very well-written & playful & original-sounding take off from the old saying about "poison". Normally I dislike lines of only one or two words as the reading feels choppy. But in this case, I can see where the words are arranged to remind us of bubbles floating up thru something like champagne. Love the first statement about decanting (impactful & original) . . . plus the way you carry the metaphor uniformly thru-out the read.

[Tony Jordan]

BG forgive my tardiness. I did try to 'feel' like I had drunk some of this poison - perhaps thats the 'bubbles floating' effect you mention. As you know sometimes we write and the words take on a certain aspect or hue that we can only hope are conveyed as intended.
Your reviews are always on point - always appreciated. I'd say your probably the best reviewer in terms of giving yourself unto the writing and providing valuable critique.
Thank you so very much
:))

[barleygirl]

WOW! I'm totally honored by your kind & uplifting words! (((HUGS)))

[Tony Jordan]

(((hugs back)))

[Ken Simm.]

As you say sparkling, witty and very good. I especially like the irony in the title.

[Tony Jordan]

I'm glad you caught the irony. One man's meat and all that...
I'm convinced that for everyone there is a someone and this particular someone isn't for me.
Thank you and great to see you and as with BG, I apologise for a tardy thank you for this review my friend.

[KTizzle]

I'm not really getting the feel of how this person is poison to you. This person just seems like sweet wine, which is cool, but I got from the title you were trying to portray her as poison. I see a lot of enjoyment of drinking this liquid, but none of the suffering or aching or hurting that comes from poison or does it hurt at all?

The second stanza is something I think can be fleshed out. The word heady means, "affecting the mind or senses greatly." It would have been nice to see how this liquid affected these senses.

I dont really like the fourth stanza. I felt it was a bit clumsy. What is "a teen on bubbles"? How do bubbles tingle your skin?

But otherwise....

I think this was quite romantic and did enjoy the first stanza. I also enjoyed the pauses because I thought it created a slow, dramatic effect that was enchanting.

I also really love these lines, "ramble...
incessantly...of how utterly/captivating/you are."

I also love the idea of this and the juxtaposition of loving something that can be damaging.

Thanks for sharing! Have a great day!

[Tony Jordan]

Hi Jazz Lover - sorry I was missed this review - thank you.
I guess the phrase that was in mind was the old metaphorical way of offering someone a drink - 'What's your poison' - they didn't literally mean that they were going to give you poison.
So poison can be a good thing if thought of in this context. Also (as Ken rightly points out in his review) it is an ironic poem.
'teen on bubbles' lol ... hmm...
'I will giggle like a teen on bubbles that ...blood' is the whole stanza - I think reading it as a whole is better. Bubbles can tingle the skin - ever been in a spa-bath?

Thanks for your extensive review Jazz Lover.
I appreciate your visit. :)

[KTizzle]

Oh! Okay, now I get it te whole concept. Ehh, I still think that stanza was awkward. Maybe say "like a teen with bubbles on skin" or something to indicate what you're saying.

[andrew mitchell]

Great work Tony, I need time to decide if I read this piece as wine or love for a woman, i hate choices, ok I'll take both! Top notch writing Tony!

[Tony Jordan]

Arrghh
Andrew - again I've been ignorant to your words. I'm really sorry mate.
I find it hard to keep up with the reviews because I just keep reading them then get lost as to whom I owe a review.
I know 'owe a review' sounds mercenary but I like to return reviews for the kind readers who take the time and effort to leave one. It's common curtesy in my book and so I apologise again mate.
In response to your review - you may have it both ways if you wish my friend. lol
Thank you Andrew!

[Jimmy Yetts]

Quality love poem.
Novel, touching sentiments extremely well crafted.
A fresh verbal breeze, Tony!

[Tony Jordan]

Thank you Jimmy.
Those are the kind of things I like to hear. :)

[ReedWrite]

Wow...love this.
It's simple, yet complex.
Straight-forward, yet convoluted.
Beautiful in its imagery and allegory. Perfect!

[Tony Jordan]

Your words are a sweet salve ReedWrite.
Thank you for taking the time to read and review this.
I appreciate your visit. :)