My Fallen Angel

Please take this into whatever perspective you like, either literal or figurative. A girl is the speaker and she's talking about her love, her fallen angel that she is finally realizing that she loves

My Fallen Angel

By Tori Ciampanelli

There I sat,

His eyes tearing through my soul,

Watching me,

Controlling me.

There was no escape,

I didn't want an escape

From the agony.

If I ran away,

He'd be gone,

And I'd be alone.

Gone,

From this fallen angel.

His eyes are like daggers,

Tearing through my heart,

Killing me slowly.

I try to look away,

But alas I can not.

His eyes are like gems,

Shining in the light,

Inviting me to look closer.

My angel is hurting me,

But I don't want to escape this pain

There was something different,

Something new.

This wasn't the angel I'd come to know.

He looked weakened.

He looked hurt.

But he still captivated me,

Still controlled my thoughts.

But now my angel was retreating,

Leaving me alone in this hell.

For I did not know suffering,

Until he had let me go.

He had left me,

Torn me to shreds,

And left my heart to bleed,

Decaying on the sidewalk.

Did I come to know him as he is,

Or was it a mask he hid behind?

He was gone so soon,

Too soon.

What was the rush?

Had I repulsed him,

Or was he simply frightened? 

Lying on the ground,

Screaming,

Crying.

I have but memories of you,

Only the faint picture of you,

That paints my dreams.

Where have you gone,

My fallen angel?

You left me,

Tore me apart,

But I'm still after you,

Still craving you.

I will find you,

My fallen angel.

It's been weeks.

Weeks without you,

Agonizing weeks.

I'm being torn in two.

I no longer feel you there. 

You're gone,

Away from my side.

Where have you gone?

Have you thought of me too?

Alas, I am nothing now.

Nothing to you?

His eyes glistened in the moonlight,

Softer than a blanket,

Could it be,

My fallen angel has returned?

His hair,

Shining from the moonlight,

Could it be a dream,

Or has this fallen angel returned?

My fallen angel,

What has happened?

These eyes are not yours,

For they don't shine as bright,

You try to wear a mask,

Hiding the suffering,

But the pain is nearly tangible.

My fallen angel,

What has happened?

Where have you been?

Gone,

Is my fallen angel.

Returned,

Is someone new.

I have come to know of this face,

But it's changed so much.

My fallen angel is leaving,

Drifting farther,

Leaving me again,

With only his body,

And the stranger,

That's replaced him.

It had been a short time, 

Hours,

At most.

The grass,

Pulling at my legs,

Begging me to stay,

Not to leave my fallen angel.

Thoughts, 

Propelling me farther

This time I'd ran.

Time, 

Was that it?

Did you need more?

Could this time return you,

Or retire you farther away?

The wind, 

It's pushing me away.

Could it be this is right?

I'm lost,

Unaware what to think, 

Or where to go.

Trees now surround me.

I continue to race around these obstacles,

But the farther I travel,

The more confused I get.

Water,

I can see it,

Large masses of it,

Large enough to drown,

But am I not already?

Drowning in these thoughts,

Plaguing my thoughts?

It's the first I've not thought of Him.

The thoughts won't stop,

The memories keep flowing,

Rushing through my faces,

Faster than a racing river.

Roll the tapes, 

Watch the show, 

Then will you see,

Why you can't go?

I have gone, 

But I'll return. 

Will you?

Just us two? 

Then maybe,

Hell,

And the chains that claim us there,

Will break,

Crushing themselves around us.

Running,

But not away,

I'm running back,

Returning,

Yearning for you.

Will you still be there?

Will you wait?

Or have you gone?

Are you running to me,

Or from me?

Shattered,

The windows are destroyed, 

What was once clear,

Is now oozing red.

Is it yours? 

What are you caught up in?

Were you simply protecting me,

Protecting me from the hell to come?

Following you,

Chasing you,

Falling on my way,

Dying bit by bit,

The earth chewing the ground as I run.

I'm racing,

Running,

Trying to find you.

Are you lurking in the shadows,

Or right before my eyes?

Faint, faint footprints,

Tattooing the ground.

Faint, faint sounds,

Only in my head.

Miles from civilization,

Following your footsteps.

Leaving everything behind,

Running from it all.

Wings, 

Two feet wide,

Encasing your body.

A single hand,

Beckoning me closer,

Inviting me in.

Your hair has grown, 

Hiding your eyes,

Calling me closer to look,

To hunt reassurance.

The breeze,

Beckoning me,

Calling me to your side.

Suddenly I see,

Your eyes,

They're gone. 

What remains are red orbs,

Tearing through my soul.

Your grip,

It tightents.

My bones,

Crushing.

The mask falls,

Swooshing to the floor,

Leaving  a demon in its place.

Screaming,

Gasping for air.

Nightmares.

Uncontrollable, Undesirable,

Nightmares.

The same ones.

What does it mean?

How can your perfection,

Be reflected as a monster?

Knives in my heart,

Twisting and tugging with every step.

They urge me to stop,

To turn back,

To give up.

I fight against their whispers,

Ignoring their pleas.

Burning,

Aching.

Unable to move.

I lie here on the ground,

Waiting for you.

Footsteps approach,

You're walking closer,

Slowly.

That is, 

until you see me.

You run,

Racing as fast as you can,

Hoping you made it in time,

But alas you're too late.

I'm gone,

Gone from this world,

Far far away,

With just a body remaining. 

Author's Note

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