Help me

I try to ignore you.

I try to move on.

To open my heart to another and love again.

But no matter what I do,

I can feel you there.

Curled up in the corner of my mind like a viper.

When I try to love another there is always that small voice in my head,

“They will never be like him.”

“Their love will never feel like his.”

And then the cycle begins anew.

My mind is flushed with thoughts of you

Memories of you.

I want to hate you.

I want to curse your name and forget you even exist.

But I can’t.

I don’t want to love you.

I want to move on with my life.

I want to love someone else.

But nobody will ever be you.

The worst part of it all,

I know you don’t think of me.

I know my name never crosses your mind.

I know you’ve long forgotten about me.

And if you were to get a message from me would only feel annoyance.

You would see my name and only think,

“Her again.”

You wouldn’t care.

I would be sitting alone missing you.

And you wouldn’t care.

I look back on old messages hoping to find a time when you loved me.

I look back hoping to find a message that shows that you cared for me at some point.

But there isn’t one.

There never was one.

Because you never cared.

Not really.

You strung me along.

Used my love for you as a weapon against me.

You’ve forgotten about me.

And yet I can’t forget about you.

 

Author's Note

Please ignore any grammar errors or spelling errors. This is mostly just word vomit.

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Word vomit what a great descriptive I’ve done a few myself over the years
However I don’t think this is vomit at all
You poured your heart out to the world
Once you do that it releases you from
The subject I think it separates you from his grip on your mind n heart
Hopefully you will move on from what u have described as someone who never really cared an ounce for you
If that’s the case you are truly better off alone learning to care for yourself snd enjoy new interests
Love will find you
Once you send him packing into the Eather
Good luck
I enjoyed your word vomit 🤮 xxx but it was good

[cheyenne s garcia]

such deep words. powerfully bold. i love it ! i thoroughly enjoy your work.