Why?

A Poem by TrueLotus

An old poem i wrote about a year ago was going threw alot.. found it and well here it is..Judge away :)

Rapping false statements racing threw my head
Why in every world made this one
Why In this house no light nor sun
If it is to be then it is to want
I sit here no fronts
I despise this life I'm living
Don't get me wrong
The breath given to me by Jah, Allah
What so ever you know
My God I'm thankful
I just want answers
Why, When, Whom
Is this me
Why me
When will I be me
The me I was meant to be
Not the one I am expected to portray for ones eyes to see
Betrayal
Flashing threw this destroyed mind
Abandonment
Is this what home is
A vial drift of coldness
I need to run
Be free, not onto the wild
But into reality just for a while
I concentrate on the actions withdrawn
From this shell called my body
The book called my heart
The reality imbedded in my soul
Cry, Cry, Cry
That's all I've done in this life
I'm done crying for this reason
It hurt but so many times, I'm callus
Only laughter replaces hurt
Eyes dry
Why
Is this what is written to be
The life I'm living
But only I see
From the eyes thus has given to me
From the inside out
So I crouch
Fetal position
Back to that cold mentality I have devoured
Being fed from my mother
Life brought forth this young damsel in distress
Ready to be taken in
LOVE, CARE, AND ALL WITHIN
Love
The word bring forty tears to bruised eyes
NEVER REALLY RECIEVED IT THE WAY I IMAGINED
The excuse was always the person does it out of LOVE
The word that produces chills
LOVE ISNT SUPPOSED TO PHYSICALLY HURT
NOR MENTALLY DESTROY
But my question still forms the same sentence
TELL ME WHY???