Used

Sometimes I feel like I'm suffocating.

My heart's beating too fast for me.

My stomach is tight, 

And my body is numb.

Encased by an aura of black.

I'm a fly trapped in a web.

I enjoy the suffocating though,

I'm not used to much else.

Author's Note

Yeah I haven't written in a while

Reviews

[Amber Lily]

Feeling something is better than feeling absolutely nothing at all. The shortness of this poem I think really comes into play with the meaning, because when this feeling is happening there isn't much to say. I really enjoyed this one, I find that you are good at putting feelings into poetic form :)

[E G TEN]

Hello Dear Poet, this piece seems to be unfinished, although you did state that you enjoyed the
suffocation, another two stanza about how you enjoyed such as, would definitely improve this
piece of poetry. Keep writing and most of all enjoy;) Thanka EG

[JayG]

It's hard for me to comment because there's nothing for the outsider, and the masochistic ending doesn't track, because it's not a given that if we know only unhappiness we will come to like it. Accept, perhaps. But like?

Think about presenting your thoughts in a way that relates to the reader, and gives reason to recall a like situation, emotionally, or gives reason to share the protagonist's situation.

If you don't move your reader emotionally, to do more than say "Poor baby..." you're not hitting the target.

There is a class of poetry written mostly by teenage girls, who are riding the roller coaster or emotions that the teen years bring, called Dismal Damsel poetry. You find it filling the poetry page of many high school newspapers. Apply that concept as a test, and try to avoid it. ;)

[J3ssInJupit3r]

I like this because I can relate to it. My phobia is suffocating though. I have panic attacks when I can't catch my breath. So the last part when you said you liked it was scary lol. But you backed it up with "I'm not used to much else." and it went perfectly. I really liked this poem even though it was sad. Keep your head up! Thanks for sharing.

[PhoenixDown]

Well then consider this a hammer to your entrapment!!!
WAKE UP!!

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem described stress. Good to know when young. Will kill us when we are old. Nice flow of thoughts left something for the reader to ponder. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote