The fly

The fly

A Poem by Ryan Falzon - Tymon
"

A small true story(lol), that gives a small, yet important lesson

"

The fly.

With door open wide, a breeze walks in,
I sit on my chair, writing my thoughts,
thinking about my sin.

I slowly write, as the minutes pass by.
I look around the room
and find my friend, the fly.

It is simply staring.
Watching as my fingers hit the keys,
and I have to say, it is a bit unnerving.

I close my eyes, and imagine the day of a fly,
and I wonder what the giant is doing,
while he stops me from flying by.

I open my eyes and realize,
that the fly is innocent.
I stick out my finger and let it come close.

The fly attempts to fly closer,
Then it lands next to my hand.
I slowly extend my finger, this time much slower.

Up-close, the fly is not a pretty sight,
as it is one of the most hated creatures,
But, the fly is actually quite a delight.

The fly then leaves, and I dare say,
A small creature, hated by many
Had just brightened my dull day.

© 2010 Ryan Falzon - Tymon


Author's Note

Ryan Falzon - Tymon
Don't hold back! hehehehe :). Also, I don't wirte in any particular style(verse etc), I mostly want criticism about the concept/idea but everything is appreciated!

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Featured Review

I really love the concept, about how the appearance of certain things (including people) are used as a representation of what they are. Just because someone is ugly does not mean that they are not beautiful on the inside and that they can't brighten the darkest of days.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

The concept is interesting and quite unique. You've given voice to such a misunderstood creature, and I think that it is both brilliant and kind. However, I think you should improve your transition. "I close my eyes, and imagine the day of a fly,/and I wonder what the giant is doing" ==> This line confused me for a moment due to lack of transition, so I think you should work from there. It really has a potential to be something more.

Keep Writing. ^___^

Posted 12 Years Ago


Epic thoughts you got goin' there =)

Posted 13 Years Ago


Hey this piece is so cool I love it great job

Posted 13 Years Ago


I really love the concept, about how the appearance of certain things (including people) are used as a representation of what they are. Just because someone is ugly does not mean that they are not beautiful on the inside and that they can't brighten the darkest of days.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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336 Views
4 Reviews
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Added on April 5, 2010
Last Updated on May 16, 2010
Tags: the, fly, ryan, falzon, tymon

Author

Ryan Falzon - Tymon
Ryan Falzon - Tymon

Malta



About
You wish to know more about me? You want to see what I see? Then listen to the words I write. With them I will give you my sight. I'm a thinker in my time. Making everything rhyme. Wondering w.. more..

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