Lovely kingdom

Love knows no time

Whatever you do, don't do that. Don't call him. Don't call him now. Don't call him ever.

Instantly Rose turned off her phone and put it in her nightstand drawer. She sat on her bed and tried to remember everything. Rose has never been the type for love. Love was never a big deal. She'd always been the one who had no problem with replacing lovers. If you would've asked her before what true love means she probably would've said something like "It means to accept each other and to tolerate the other one as a companion through life“.

Now she felt like it's more. It's the rare thing everyone wants and only a few have. It's the indescribable thing that still demands to be described. It's the only feeling, that could lead to life-long happiness. She was to much of a rationalist to believe that it leads to permanent happiness but nevertheless she deeply believed that the combination between life and love would give you the perfect amount of ups and downs to finally love living for lifetime. She tried to remember the first time she saw him but it didn't worked.

“I love you, Finnigan. I really really love you, Finn.”

Without a warning it made her shiver. Hearing her own words saying this. Even though she'd never told anyone that she loved them first and now she was completely ready to do that, it wasn't what made her shiver. She was thinking about his name and all the things just his name means to her and came to a simple conclusion.

“I don't love you, Finn. I'm sorry, but I love Finnigan - not Finn. I love the person that I really know of, not the person everyone else sees. I like you Finn, but you're nothing compared to Finnigan.”

Finnigan, who's nickname was Finn, was an old classmate of hers. They've been in high school together and he dated a really close friend of hers for two years. Back then she would never even have thought about anything like this but now she was wondering if they could've been together.

„I don't know - Either way back then I wouldn't have allowed myself to feel this way about you. Well, I guess things changed, time passed and I can't deny I don't want to feel this way but now I do. Ha! This rhymes. You see even when I'm drunk I'm a freaking genius so you'll better wait for me.”

The words sounded just like the good old her. Strong, confident and unbreakable. But she wasn't. She might've been strong and firm but she was never confident. She was a professional in tricking other people to deeply believe that she is confident and outgoing but she never was. She was water behaving like fire and it worked. She stood up and stumbled through the dark room, searching a CD. Her auburn hair was falling in her face and she felt like she has to look like a zombie.

“Bet I'm not as sexy as you thought when I turn into a zombie, huh?”

Come on, your body is the only thing he wanted. He just knew how to get in your head. Do you really think he could feel the same way about you?

After a long time of searching she finally remembered that the CD was still in the CD-player. So she turned it on and listened to the melody of their love:
“A silent conversation, no words cause there's no need. We let the tapes mix up the years and press repeat and press repeat...“
Her mind was traveling in time.

“I don't get why you're this insecure. You're the most amazing person I've ever known”, Finnigan said.

“But you're different, huh?”

“I guess we're one and the same.”
“I fear so. We are just misguided ghosts.”

“Traveling endlessly.”

This was them. In only 9 days they've spent together they built their own kingdom and used an own language. But as all kingdoms and countries they've agreed to laws that Rose as she now realized would like to change. Before he went back to New Zealand they agreed to not have any contact until he moves back to America. She remembered herself saying “It'll be easier this way”. It wasn't. It just made her question everything that happened. They've talked about everything even though they've understood each other with no words. She turned on her phone again and texted him: 

“I was a child and 'you were' a child...” As soon as she pressed send she was angry at herself.

How could I? He won't even get what I mean. How can he? He doesn't know me.

And by thinking this, she saw that he instantly replied: 

“The moon never beams without bringing me dreams of 'you'. Remember, we're one and the same”

All alone in her room she smiled. 

I knew that this is real.

Reviews

[Kaliope]

That was really sweet. I think you captured the anxiety and the doubts beautifully, it reminded me so much of my own youth :-)
one minor suggestion: '“...You're the most amazing person I've ever known”, Finn said.' - After you established that Rose preferred to think of him as Finnegan, wouldn't it make more sense to say "Finnegan said"? It just puzzled me a bit to come across his nickname at this point, but that's really a tiny nitpick.
It was a lovely scene!

[Untalented Creation]

Just changed it. Thanks for helping me (:
btw. I actually just stumbled across Derren Browns videos (because I need to study the milgram experiment and he repeated it) As sad as it seems how easy you can mess with minds is really inspiring.

[Kaliope]

I agree, it's important to know and keep in mind how easily we all are manipulated and it always starts with small things... if you're interested in the topic you might also want to take a look at the Asch conformity experiments - rather harmless in comparison but still fascinating.
So it's not the attempt to educate people that I resented, not even the message that we need to stand up for ourselves and fight our own instinct for conformity, I totally agree with that. But it was the way it was done that bothered me. On TV, for mass entertainment and for ratings... I haven't seen any of Brown's prior shows, but the one I wrote about I just f****** hate.