Missed Calls

Missed Calls

A Poem by Val W. Caine
"

For all those people who have the ring of the other end of the line memorized.

"

A sense of fear or is it--
A sense of loss that takes me--
I needed to hear your promise.
(You've reached the inbox of..)
Fingers will dial once more--
A familiar number--
In the hopes that you'll answer me.
(You've reached the inbox of..)
But you don't pick up the line--
Which only cranks more on the--
Growing tightness inside my chest.
(You've reached the inbox of..)
The pain I feel is my fault--
I knew all that before now--
But I still can't understand why.
(You've reached the inbox of..)
Why I can't shake them from me--
These feelings I have inside--
Or why you won't answer my calls.
(You've reached the inbox of..)
And soon, I will start to see--
That you won't pick up your cell--
A truth that finally strikes home.
(You've reached the inbox of..)
So gradually my calls--
Start to stagger, fall like the--
Fading beat of an EKG.
(You've reached the inbox of..)
Cold, I listen to one more--
Rhythmic, lost pulse of the line--
And I know it's time to hang up.
(You've reached-----)

© 2010 Val W. Caine


Author's Note

Val W. Caine
Tweeked the rhythm. Boy, was that a bitch.

My Review

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Featured Review

Wow, I really liked this one... Its hard when you care for someone and you keep calling and calling and they never answer. Sometimes you call so much that when the voicemail picks up you can say the words right along with them and hang up right before the beep because you have it memorized so perfectly. I like the heartache you portrayed in this poem. Its not just some random number; its someone they care for. Someone they want--need to hear from. I also really liked how you mentioned that their calls staggered like a fading heartbeat... That really grips the severity of the pain this person is feeling. And lastly, the way the last voicemail cuts off "You've reached---" a sense of hopelessness. They've given up. They don't even wait for the whole message anymore. Very well written. I like the format and the repetition of the answering machine. Great job! One of my favorites.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

wow this is really good.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Wow, I really liked this one... Its hard when you care for someone and you keep calling and calling and they never answer. Sometimes you call so much that when the voicemail picks up you can say the words right along with them and hang up right before the beep because you have it memorized so perfectly. I like the heartache you portrayed in this poem. Its not just some random number; its someone they care for. Someone they want--need to hear from. I also really liked how you mentioned that their calls staggered like a fading heartbeat... That really grips the severity of the pain this person is feeling. And lastly, the way the last voicemail cuts off "You've reached---" a sense of hopelessness. They've given up. They don't even wait for the whole message anymore. Very well written. I like the format and the repetition of the answering machine. Great job! One of my favorites.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow hun, this is really well done. I love how clearly the emotion is expressed and the ending simile about the EKG beat really emphasizes the heartache. I really love the style you wrote it in, with the inbox message repeating.

Posted 9 Years Ago


XDDD
I will totally write lyrics for your band, guys. Count me in.

Posted 9 Years Ago


You already know about the rhythm bit, so I won't bring that up. But when it starts flowing, it is powerful. I really liked it o.o
And yes, you can definitely write the lyrics to our band if you want xD.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Kay. Now convincing Derek that you should write the lyrics to our future band that will probably never exist. That is all. XD

Posted 9 Years Ago



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713 Views
6 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on January 3, 2010
Last Updated on January 5, 2010
Tags: love, lost, calls, missed calls, missed, phone, ring, pick up

Author

Val W. Caine
Val W. Caine

About
I'm an aspiring film writer, though for now film projects are a work in progress. I've written film shorts, and stages plays, but when I feel like relaxing I settle back and write poems. I'm majoring .. more..

Writing