Balsam Cap Epiphany

Balsam Cap Epiphany

A Poem by VennelaMargame
"

Another poem inspired by a hike.

"

As though it were a slimy rain

That afternoon, the orange flesh

Of sky was dripping pulpy sweat.

 

Or, rather, say the balsam trees

Were shaking off the scales of sleep

Onto the winter’s slushy dregs.

 

To breathe in air more wood than air,

To walk upon the snoring chest

Of senescent, bearded forests,

 

Just as the springtime snorts awake,

Requires a will to walk through March

As through the halls of catholic shame.

 

When days are drenched in citrus-cream,

And sour sunlight turns the milk

Of winter, all the world will buzz

 

In wasp-like tingles of tradition.

No other countenance would dare

Accuse like spring’s dogmatic stare.

© 2017 VennelaMargame


Author's Note

VennelaMargame
Balsam Cap is a mountain in the Catskills. It has no trail to its summit, and the coniferous forests on its upper slopes are notoriously thick. I happened to be hiking on a warm day in late March, where slushy chunks of ice were falling from the trees and knocking me on the head, while being scratched to shreds by those same trees, all on a bright-orange, late winter afternoon. It was an oddly enclosing atmosphere which inspired this.

Note, the thumbnail picture was taken during that hike.

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Featured Review

You managed to capture the scenery, and experience quite well in this, your word choice added to the dynamic atmosphere, if I was going to points something out, and that's only because my eye tends to catch such things, is the double 'to' 'to' within two lines, and the four uses of 'O' beginning verses, or stanzas, (this could be intentional). There are many better versed then me when it comes to poetry. Thanks for the read.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

You managed to capture the scenery, and experience quite well in this, your word choice added to the dynamic atmosphere, if I was going to points something out, and that's only because my eye tends to catch such things, is the double 'to' 'to' within two lines, and the four uses of 'O' beginning verses, or stanzas, (this could be intentional). There are many better versed then me when it comes to poetry. Thanks for the read.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I enjoyed this a lot. The imagery is great, it's well written and I loved your choice of vocabulary.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow this is really impressive. It reminds me a lot of Edgar Allen Poe's work with it's rhythmic beat, and descriptive analogies. Keep up the good work!

Posted 6 Years Ago


VennelaMargame

6 Years Ago

Thank you. I think the tetrameter might be what makes it sound a little like Poe?
I love the calming quality of your words.

Posted 6 Years Ago


VennelaMargame

6 Years Ago

Thank you.
The imagery is indeed beautiful. Your words seems to paint a landscape. Loved it. :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


VennelaMargame

6 Years Ago

Thank you.
This poem, is beautifully penned, very well executed. :-)

Kaze~

Posted 6 Years Ago


Lildeadcupcake

6 Years Ago

Your very welcome. :-)
VennelaMargame

6 Years Ago

Let me have a look at one of yours. Which do you recommend?
Lildeadcupcake

6 Years Ago

Devil in disguise, or Have You ever. Thank you. :-)
oh how beautiful and interesting that must have been, wish I could have seen this myself. Amazing poem

Posted 6 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

VennelaMargame

6 Years Ago

Thank you. Did you see the picture I took with it? That's how the whole forest looked.
Gabby Nieves

6 Years Ago

Yes, it looks absolutely amazing. I only hope i can travel and be inspired in my life as well.
this is a very visual, sensual poem, and one can almost feel the atmosphere - especially like your use of the word senescent -- it fits here, without sounding too dictionary-like.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

VennelaMargame

6 Years Ago

Thank you. I was worried it might sound odd.
I've read this thoroughly and it is both unique and well penned. I am very fond of this piece and am very surprised as to why no one has rated it. It's excellent. The imagery is good and your use of vocabulary implemented well. The title's bland but that's the only criticism I have. I love the photo you took on the walk.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

VennelaMargame

6 Years Ago

Thank you. The title comes from the name of the mountain I was on during the hike that inspired this.. read more

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817 Views
15 Reviews
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Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on February 26, 2013
Last Updated on April 23, 2017
Tags: Hiking nature outdoors Catskills

Author

VennelaMargame
VennelaMargame

NY



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I want to apologize to any friends on here for how long I've been delinquent. I need to get back on here, clear my backlog of read requests and get writing again. Best wishes all. more..

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