Balsam Cap Epiphany

Another poem inspired by a hike.

As though it were a slimy rain

That afternoon, the orange flesh

Of sky was dripping pulpy sweat.

 

Or, rather, say the balsam trees

Were shaking off the scales of sleep

Onto the winter’s slushy dregs.

 

To breathe in air more wood than air,

To walk upon the snoring chest

Of senescent, bearded forests,

 

Just as the springtime snorts awake,

Requires a will to walk through March

As through the halls of catholic shame.

 

When days are drenched in citrus-cream,

And sour sunlight turns the milk

Of winter, all the world will buzz

 

In wasp-like tingles of tradition.

No other countenance would dare

Accuse like spring’s dogmatic stare.

Author's Note

Balsam Cap is a mountain in the Catskills. It has no trail to its summit, and the coniferous forests on its upper slopes are notoriously thick. I happened to be hiking on a warm day in late March, where slushy chunks of ice were falling from the trees and knocking me on the head, while being scratched to shreds by those same trees, all on a bright-orange, late winter afternoon. It was an oddly enclosing atmosphere which inspired this.

Note, the thumbnail picture was taken during that hike.

Reviews

[Jack Wolfe]

You managed to capture the scenery, and experience quite well in this, your word choice added to the dynamic atmosphere, if I was going to points something out, and that's only because my eye tends to catch such things, is the double 'to' 'to' within two lines, and the four uses of 'O' beginning verses, or stanzas, (this could be intentional). There are many better versed then me when it comes to poetry. Thanks for the read.

[Willow Radcliffe]

I enjoyed this a lot. The imagery is great, it's well written and I loved your choice of vocabulary.

[NotaBene]

Wow this is really impressive. It reminds me a lot of Edgar Allen Poe's work with it's rhythmic beat, and descriptive analogies. Keep up the good work!

[VennelaMargame]

Thank you. I think the tetrameter might be what makes it sound a little like Poe?

[SageRave]

I love the calming quality of your words.

[VennelaMargame]

Thank you.

[Poetic Nuance]

The imagery is indeed beautiful. Your words seems to paint a landscape. Loved it. :)

[VennelaMargame]

Thank you.

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

This poem, is beautifully penned, very well executed. :-)

Kaze~

[VennelaMargame]

Thank you.

[♔ CrownedDevil ☾]

Your very welcome. :-)

[VennelaMargame]

Let me have a look at one of yours. Which do you recommend?

[♔ CrownedDevil ☾]

Devil in disguise, or Have You ever. Thank you. :-)

[Gabby Nieves]

oh how beautiful and interesting that must have been, wish I could have seen this myself. Amazing poem

[VennelaMargame]

Thank you. Did you see the picture I took with it? That's how the whole forest looked.

[Gabby Nieves]

Yes, it looks absolutely amazing. I only hope i can travel and be inspired in my life as well.

[Lyn Anderson]

this is a very visual, sensual poem, and one can almost feel the atmosphere - especially like your use of the word senescent -- it fits here, without sounding too dictionary-like.

[VennelaMargame]

Thank you. I was worried it might sound odd.

[Persona]

I've read this thoroughly and it is both unique and well penned. I am very fond of this piece and am very surprised as to why no one has rated it. It's excellent. The imagery is good and your use of vocabulary implemented well. The title's bland but that's the only criticism I have. I love the photo you took on the walk.

[VennelaMargame]

Thank you. The title comes from the name of the mountain I was on during the hike that inspired this. Might sound a bit odd to someone not from the area.