Love, from my side of the fence.

Things aren't perfect; fairy-tales don't exist the way we depict them. Sometimes, I have to remind myself that just because something isn't exactly the way I planned it to be, doesn't mean I'm not very lucky to have it happen to me. I expect hugs at the loneliest times. I expect him to be able to read my mind and always know when to say he's happy with me. Sometimes he won't say "I love you, too." or admit that he's sorry, or feel like cuddling all the time. Sometimes, he's distant. But I need to remind myself that, when he doesn't say I love you, he shows it. When he doesn't apologize the way you think he should, he remembers to take you to see the movie you've wanted to see for the longest. Nights that he doesn't cuddle with you doesn't mean he goes a night without you in his heart. He's been by your side since August, doing anything he can for you. Has anyone else been around that long? Garrett is not perfect, but neither am I. No two people can love each other exactly the way the other person has in mind. I'm sure I do some things that really annoy him. God knows he bugs the ever-loving s**t out of me. But the best part of it is, that person is giving themselves to you, not anyone else. That person is still there at your door even after a stupid fight. They're by your side even after you've made a complete fool out of yourself. They're spending their days good or bad, with you. And at some point you have to at least be grateful for that one thing. 

The truth is, I could easily never have met Garrett. I overslept the day of our first date and almost cancelled on him. By the time he got my text he was already near my house, and I was still fumbling around in my closet for clothes. He said he had just just made it off the interstate and that he could turn around. Some part of me still said yes even though my hair was still wet and had no make-up on. I still remember what he looked like that day and I remember being really shy. I'll spare you the details of everything afterward, simply because it's too much to list, but I will tell you I Have never felt more comfortable around anyone else in my nineteen years on Earth. I also swore I'd never see him after that day. I was already creating snapshots of him in my mind and preparing myself for a goodbye. I even told him I had planned to leave the state because I'd be leaving nothing behind. I expected nothing. I had no expectation and two days later, I got a text: "We can hang out this weekend, if you want. (:" To this day he doesn't know I screamed like a twelve year old girl.

Before I knew it, we were watching movies at my house, making fun of my dumb cats together. Soon after, I knew I wasn't leaving Louisiana. I told him, I was staying right here with him. I couldn't leave my new best friend friend.

I discovered he was shy and a slow kisser who never had much to say, but he always managed to get his point across. He was carefree and always seemed a bit lonely, though he'd never admit to it. He was an all around good guy with a head full of red hair who didn't mind a wheelchair at all. I wasn't immediately head over heels for him, because I had my guard up - sometimes I still do. However, I knew I didn't want him to go away. I wanted him around. Garrett started becoming a regular at my house, in my thoughts, and eventually in my heart. We didn't even 'ask each other out'. There was no asking. Whenever we decided we were dating, I suppose we both knew. Since then, we've had ups and downs and more ups and more downs, but there is no one else I'd rather spend time with. These days, I'm not afraid of anything except losing him, and that's why I need so much reassurance. I need to understand that in a relationship you need to have trust. I'm sure it'd make him feel bad if he thought I didn't trust him. If I were to ever lose him, he happened. For that I am grateful. I Have faith in him, you see. He's never really given me a reason not to have any. Now whenever I have doubts, I'll remind myself how he proved my very first and biggest doubt wrong. 

I am capable of being loved.

I am 'good enough'.

Those who matter... always come back.

Author's Note

Any criticism is appreciated. Is this publishing material or is it too casual?