I look up at the stars in the sky...

Just a poem about some of my feelings, the slightly askew lines that aren't exactly underneath the other ones just show the feeling of falling apart for me.

                                                  I look up at the stars in the sky,

                                                  And see the sun and the moon,

                                                               Way up high,

                                        And I think about how it's a metaphor for my life.

                                            Supernovas, pulsars, quasars, black holes,

                                                   Oh, too many things to mention,

                               But everything you'd see in a national geographic episode.

                                           Purple, red, blue, turquoise, and black,

                                   They symbolize the emotions swirling around in my life,

                                                    The intensity of them,

                                    Pain, sadness, guilt, anger, things like that.

                                                  The deadly black holes come,

                                                 And the life giving waters go,

                                             Leaving me saying my final throes.

                                                        I feel all alone,

                                               Like the man on the moon,

                                      Being verbally pummeled by meteorites,

                                               And being left to swoon,

                                                   In love with those,

                                                 Outside of my grasp,

                                         Leaving me in pain's deadly hold,

                                           And it seems that hold will last.

Reviews

[Jamestown]

Metaphor use is terrific! i like how you say the colors are the display of your emotions,
that is really creative, thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[The StoryTeller]

Lol, that's what I keep hearing... that my metaphors are amazing. XD And lol, I'm glad you liked the colors and the poem in general. You b-blessed too. :)

[Jerome F Knox III pseud..]

Brilliant use of metaphors against poignant rhymes but the layout made this tough to read but was the struggle.

[The StoryTeller]

I'm glad you liked it, and I'm sorry about the layout.

[iNSOMniAC]

"The deadly black holes come,
And the life giving waters go,
Leaving me saying my final throes."

Good gosh, Blade. You can't write a piece that won't blow my mind.

[The StoryTeller]

Glad you liked it. :)) And yeah I can: "Pippity ta tay ok this piece is done." See?

[iNSOMniAC]

xDD It was actually pretty great. "Pippity ta tay."

[The StoryTeller]

Ok, well... How about this: "fasfkashfasfhas...asdfhasfui" See, that one didn't blow your mind. :p

[iNSOMniAC]

YOU SAID ASDF! xD
(It's an animation show thing on YouTube)

[The StoryTeller]

Lol, okay, how about this poem. "A." Did that blow your mind?

[iNSOMniAC]

Yeah, actually. It makes the reader think. "A" what? A house? A family? Or is it just a lonely word - one that is used far too often without much thought?

[The StoryTeller]

Lol, okay, maybe I'll post that as a poem. XD How about "huhrtuheutheuihgbhbuhg"

[iNSOMniAC]

xDD That was brilliant!

[The StoryTeller]

XD I'm serious, there has got to be a poem I can write that won't blow you mind. How about: " " there, did that blow your mind? XD

[iNSOMniAC]

You let the reader fill in the blanks and write their poem inside of yours, which was empty-handed and waiting for the words of an infinite imagination... heck yeah, it did.

[The StoryTeller]

Wow. Okay, so looks like I need to write a poem " " and "A". Um, is there anything, anything at all that I can write that won't blow your mind? Wait! That wasn't me blowing your mind, it was the poem! Ha ha, I win! XD

[iNSOMniAC]

"You can't write a piece that won't blow my mind."
Ha, check again.

[The StoryTeller]

Lol, I am still blowing your mind, somehow?

[iNSOMniAC]

Yeah. xD (Freakin' 10 character limit)

[The StoryTeller]

Lol, yes, that limit tho! And lol, I don't know then... XD Wait, I got it! If that is blowing your mind, then anyone who writes that can blow your mind, not just me specifically! Ha! I win!

[iNSOMniAC]

It wasn't about everyone else. It was about you.
Bringing the thought about everyone into a competition about you? Oh, don't be so modest.
You're fantastic, Blade! Don't ever doubt that about yourself.

[The StoryTeller]

Lol, you're saying I'm better even when you pit everyone against me, even people like Shakespeare?

[iNSOMniAC]

Well, of course. There's only one of you. There's only one Shakespeare.
You were thrown into a crowd of the everybodies, and you felt like you were just like them. You know what I say to that? You are not like them. You don't have anything in common with the person sitting beside you. You're both human? Okay. That doesn't tell me who YOU are.
You're the best of your species - you are the only one of your kind. You're literally one of a kind. You're the first and the last. Does that mean nothing to you?

[The StoryTeller]

Actually.... yeah, wow. I never really thought about it like that... that's really true. Lol, but just because I have to ask, do you think my species is better than others? XD

[iNSOMniAC]

In ways, yes, I do. But I do not have a favorite species.
Some species prey on the weak, some others are the weak, and the rest help the weak.
We're cycling around a weak, dying world, and though every species has their flaws, your species has a great character.

[The StoryTeller]

I read this article by Rachel Grace called My Flawed Perfection, and even tho I think so much of it describes the real me, the one you know from our emails, I think one specific part does. The part about playing so many roles, so many faces, in this game called humanity. You should read the article. It might help you too. Tell me what you think after you read it.

[iNSOMniAC]

Alright. I'll go check it out.

[The StoryTeller]

Okay, tell me what you think afterwards. I got to go right now to let my grandpa watch Syfy, but I'll be back on early on tomorrow (Hopefully, since I don't have school.) If not, I'll be on Tuesday. You should get on more too.

[iNSOMniAC]

Yeah. I'll try.
School, family, and YouTube's keeping me busy. It's hard to get anything done for myself, but I'll try.

[The StoryTeller]

Yeah, I know what you mean, not the Youtube part, but everything else yep. And that's all I'm asking, is trying.

[iNSOMniAC]

*Nods* Have...
Have you ever felt the rush of death around you? Were you frightened? Angry? ...Numb?

[The StoryTeller]

Yep. Remember? I've been in near death car wrecks, have nearly fallen off of the side of a 50 ft cliff on a mountain in West Virginia, just for starters. And yes, I've been numb from that, but not just from that either. Other things have made me that way too. Btw, I like the new picture. :)

[iNSOMniAC]

Thanks. c:
And, actually... my grandmother almost died on Valentine's Day. For whatever reason, everyone else was frantic - everyone else felt like the world was falling apart, but it kept going for me.

[The StoryTeller]

That can actually make a lot of sense.

[iNSOMniAC]

I don't know what it means, though... did I know that she'd be alright all along?

[The StoryTeller]

Yeah, I think it means that, and I also think it just means your not to worried. Among other things.

[iNSOMniAC]

But everyone else was scared... I thought I was a bad person for not feeling worried...

[The StoryTeller]

No, you're not a bad person for it. All people feel it at some time.

[iNSOMniAC]

But... why? Why do we feel such inhuman emotions?

[The StoryTeller]

They're not human only if it's not a human feeling them. Human's are complex creatures made by a beautiful, complex Creator. :) There isn't really any good or bad emotions, God tells us so. Our emotions are what we make them.

[iNSOMniAC]

Then why did I feel that way?

[The StoryTeller]

I honestly don't know. That's within you, and therefore only you can answer it.

[iNSOMniAC]

I can't... I don't know how...

[The StoryTeller]

You'll find a way. Just (and this isn't just for this) stay in tune with yourself. Meditate, and spend time thinking about nothing and focusing on your breathing. Learn the way your body responds. Learn the way you think (when you start to think). Learn the way you feel. Then take it from just meditating to when you're doing stuff, such as running, or writing. See how you feel, how your body works, your strengths and weaknesses, your great designs and flaws. It's all about staying in tune with yourself (which is great, believe it from me) and this is how I went out about doing it with myself. I actually still have trouble sometimes... but I've learned a lot about myself by doing it.

[iNSOMniAC]

I... it only takes that much?

[The StoryTeller]

Well, I wouldn't say it only takes that much, but for me, that's a very big piece of it, yes.

[iNSOMniAC]

How can I sit down and relax? My parents hate it when I'm not at the house.

[Junaid Siddiqui]

"Being verbally pummeled by meteorites"
I feel like I've been hit by a meteorite of emotions that your poem is giving off.
Remarkable imagery and metaphor. I hope you don't mind if I happen to borrow some phrases ;)

[The StoryTeller]

Lol, no problem, I do the same thing sometimes with my raps, I borrow phrases from other rappers. This one is completely original, and just shows the depth of my feelings sometimes. Glad you liked it! :D