I Have A Dark Past (Part One)

Just read it and tell me what you think.

I have a dark past,

A past that seems it will last.

I need to let it go, as I have with so much stuff already,

But my new life's boat has a dark mast.

Because if I don't let it go,

Here and there,

Will always have my past there.

And if I don't let it go, all I can do is stare.

I'm in pain's deadly grasp,

It sometimes truly does feel as if that hold will last.

Like I'm inside a full length body cast,

The weight and pain is what I feel living in the past.

Author's Note

I plan on making this into a (somewhat) epic poem, adding parts as new posts over time, rather than all one. Then once I'm finished, I'll copy everything and put it together in one post and delete the individual posts. The other parts of this epic will be free verse, haiku, song lyrics, stories; each one will be slightly different and will have different form. Tell me what you think of part one in the comments. And tell me if you think I should write this creative epic, and if you agree with how I'm doing it, advice, anger, etc. Just talk to me in the comments.

Reviews

[Tania]

Nice !!!! Well written :)

[The StoryTeller]

Thank you. Glad you liked it. Think I should continue with it into an epic?

[Coyote Poetry]

Few people have not made mistakes. I have made many.
"Like I'm inside a full length body cast,
The weight and pain is what I feel living in the past."
I believe wisdom is when we learn from the past and our mistakes. We have gain wisdom. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[The StoryTeller]

I'm glad you can find understanding in the midst of this, and I'm glad you found wisdom and liked it.

[♥ Ari Skye ♥]

I like it so far. It sounds like my inner thoughts. For a long time, I felt trapped. Somedays I still do. So far, you have a great beginning. I say go epic!

[The StoryTeller]

Glad you liked it, and I'm both glad and sad you could relate. Glad because you could understand and liked it, sad because I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Thank you. :) I'll try.

[♥ Ari Skye ♥]

Sometimes it's good to know there is someone out there who gets it. Because I understand where you're coming from, it makes us closer!

[The StoryTeller]

Yes, I feel glad that people know where I'm coming from, I'm just sad because to get there they had to hurt too. I know we're all going to hurt, but I'd rather it be minimized to just a little.

[♥ Ari Skye ♥]

I agree. I really do wish there was a way we would have less hurt on earth, but to only feel happy feelings.. I don't know. How do you know you're truly living if you don't feel the bad as well?

[The StoryTeller]

Yeah, I guess that's true. The great thing is, sooner or later, there will be a day that there will be no more pain.

[♥ Ari Skye ♥]

Yeah I guess. But then again, would we be truly happy then?

[The StoryTeller]

Well, since it's God that's making that day for us, I assume the answer would be yes.

[Lizardo]

It's a great Idea, I'm lookind forward to it!
I had a kind of dark past too...
Incredible poem!

[The StoryTeller]

Glad you liked it. :) I'll continue with the idea then. Sorry about your past. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

[SheDragon16]

I like this and I can relate to it the pain and shame of the past. But yes move on let go it will only hold you back. You need room to grow and the past takes up way to much space.

[The StoryTeller]

It does, and it resides in The Mind. And as I said in The Body, The Mind, The Soul, if you get lost in the Mind is to go insane.

[Wordydistance]

You use words that you don't need to. Example "truly" in the third to last line doesn't add anything. Actually you could take out "sometimes" as well. As a reader I assume the speaker is telling the truth (unless otherwise told). What is you dark past? How can you describe it better? You use the word past four times in three stanzas.
I think you should write whatever you want, but I think you should add some consistency.

[The StoryTeller]

Thank you, I'll work on that. I'll take out the truly and sometimes, and see what I can add to make it better. Let me know if you have any other tips.

[The StoryTeller]

Hey, I revised this and re-posted it as a separate post. Tell me what you think.