The Exodus

The Exodus

A Story by Vyctm

An action story that I thought it would be fun to write. I am working on a longer version of this with a larger character base and more days of torture. Enjoy this while you wait.


Troops of the Chinese army charged in the town.  Gunshots resounded through the air and the smell of gunpowder and blood was thick.  Zach woke up in his bed to the chaos of the invasion.  He searched for his mother in the small one room hut.  She was gone.  Fear set in.  Zach went to the front door and opened it.  An explosion followed by a scream shook the foundation of the home. 

            Survival instincts set in.  Staying still would be his downfall.  He stepped out onto the muddy streets.  People were running around everywhere.  Any who fell were instantly trampled under the feet of the stampede behind them.  A line of soldiers crossed the end of the street and raised their guns.  The crowd instantly stopped and surged in the opposite direction.  Flashing lights and staccato bursts of sound filled the road. 

            Zach took off away from the sounds.  As he was sprinting down the road a grenade rolled next to him.  He turned into an empty ally and ducked behind a cart.  An explosion tore the wall to shreds at the end of the alley, and sent a shower of rubble flying everywhere.  He got up and started moving again.  He tore down the ally trying to get to the far side where he heard no sound.  Doors lined both sides of the ally but many had smoke rolling from the bottom.  More scream roared from behind him.  He had escaped just in time.  As he neared the end of the ally a man stepped out.  He wore full body armor and had an ak-47 in his hand.  The man poised to shoot. 

            Zach jumped through a door just as a volley of bullets whizzed down the ally.  Sparks flew as he crashed into the flaming building.  Smoke was thick in the air making Zach’s eyes water and his lungs scream for air. Escape was a necessity.  Zach searched through the small room for a door back outside.  He ran into the next room trying to find another escape.    He finally found a mostly intact door and opened it.  The outdoors humid air instantly battered him in the face along with a breath of sweet air.  He stepped out into the street.

            The road was relatively empty.  Some people were sprinting away some even making it out of the city limits.  Zach decided he needed to do the same.  He took off for the shrubbery just at the side of the road.  As he jumped in a tank started rolling down the street.  One of the people attempting to escape was shot down.  His blood sprayed all over the street where he was standing.  His body collapsed lifeless.  A pool of blood surrounded his corpse.

            The tank rolled past Zach’s hiding place.  When it finally turned around the corner, Zach ran into the wilderness.  When he felt he was finally safe he collapsed.  Tears streamed from his eyes as he remembered all of the death he had seen.  The screams of pain and gunfire had died down to a quiet drone in the back of his head.  When he finally calmed down he crawled against a nearby tree and curled up.  Before he fell asleep he laughed to himself.  America has gone so far downhill.

                                    *                      *          *          *                      *

            “Welcome fans to today’s episode of Who Wants to be an Immigrant.  Sensors show that the border beacon has been set off and you know what that means.  A new competitor wants to become a citizen of Mexico.  Let’s see if he can make it.”

            Cheers of all the people at the victory party broke out.  The new show had become an instant hit.  People were tuning all over the world to see the carnage that came from this new show.

            “These people love the show Harry.  I think we finally have a hit.”

            “Using the new border defenses as a reality show was a great idea, Hernando.”

            Harry took another bite of his victory steak.  The country of Mexico had just built new border defenses on the America-Mexico border.  The defenses were just a random series of traps that spread over twenty miles.  Any who make it across earn their citizenship.  None have made it through.  The deaths have the audience screaming with pleasure.

            A fresh cheer broke out as a fans favorite was crushed between two spiked walls.  The two men clicked their glasses together than drained them.  They wouldn’t need to worry about being sober anymore.  All of their dreams came true with this show.  The need of work was no longer a necessity.  The money rolling in was enough to keep a town debt free for a year.

            The victory banquet lasted until three o’ clock in the morning when the first person passed out from fatigue and too many shots.  People drudged out of the mansion glad to be heading home.  They were looking forward to the next party tomorrow.

                                    *                      *          *          *                      *

            Baily switched off the T.V.  She loved the new reality show Who Wants to be an Immigrant.  The sick idea of it was surprisingly pleasing.  She walked over to her bed and sat down.  Tonight five of the ten people who entered the arena had died.  One was crushed to death by a spike wall while another bled out after climbing through a razor wire maze.  She shrieked as one man was gored to death by a bull but than she laughed to herself.  Bet he won’t try that again. 

            Baily looked over to her clock.  11:59. she decided it would be best for her to go to bed now.  Being tired when the next episode came on would not make her a happy camper.  She wanted to enjoy every gory detail.

                                    *                      *          *          *                      *

            The red glow of the sun is what Zach woke to in the morning.  His sleep had been filled with memories of the slaughter he narrowly escaped.  He wiped the sleep from his eyes and stood up.  In the horizon to the north he could see smoke rising as a pillar warning wanderers away. 

            He did not know what to do.  His mother was back in the town but she chances were she was dead.  Even of he did go back how would he get past all of the military?  He had to move on.  But where to?  The nation was cut off to the east and west and to the north there was the town he had just escaped from.  He guessed that he could skirt around the town but heading anywhere near that place would cause him to break down.  Too many bad memories.  Zach decided that south was the way to go.

            He turned so the rising sun was to his right and set off.  He was in southern Texas so the trip could not be too long.  He focused on his travels trying not to think about the smoldering heat or blaring sun.  He protected his eyes from the loose sand flying around in a mini tornado and walked on. 

            By the time the sun was at its peak Zach had gone a couple of miles.  Every step was a little harder than the last.  He was hoping that he would find some source of water to drink from but he doubted it.  After America became overpopulated all water in Texas instantly disappeared.

            He knew water was important so he dropped to the ground to rest and think.  How was he going to get water in the middle of a dessert?  He occupied his thinking with chunking some rocks into the wasteland.  He watched as they skipped across the desert sea.  He found a large rock and threw it as hard as he could.  He watched it fly, bounce than slide.  When it was nearing a stop the stone fell followed by a cloink. 

            Zach got to his feet and went to where he saw the rock land.  There was a small round hole dug into the ground running maybe two feet deep.  He cautiously stuck his arm in the hole hoping to not find a snake or other critter.  Something cool and wet waited down at the bottom.  He eagerly cupped his hand and carefully lifted it out.  Cool clear liquid rested in his hand.  He had found water.

            The coolness of the water sliding down his throat was refreshing.  Like a miracle from God.  He took a couple more mouthfuls than dried off his hands.  He needed to get moving again.  Zach faced south again dreading the long trek that was still ahead.  He was nearing the Texas-Mexico border.  He had heard rumors that there were new border defenses keeping immigrants from crossing and was hoping that was all they were.  Rumors.

            Nothing happened until Zach passed a weird plant.  A loud alarm went off.  He ducked afraid that there might be an explosion.  Nothing happened.  He carefully looked around for any sign of movement but there was none.  The way south was blocked by a large hill so he could not see too far in that direction.  He figured that high ground may be the best thing for him in this particular situation so he started climbing.  Footing was a little unsteady but not all that bad.  He managed to get up to the top with only a couple of incidents.  As he got close to the pinnacle he could hear a faint roar.  When he mounted to top he saw the source.

            A crowd of people were at the bottom of the hill screaming their heads off.  A red rope blocked all but a little path through the middle of them.  Small TVs floated around over the crowd’s heads showing pictures of what was happening.  On most of the screens there was a picture of Zach standing on the top of the hill.  He slowly went down the hill toward the crowd his heart beating in his chest with fear.  People were screaming horrible things like “Get crushed in the wall trap” or “I hope you get impaled by the bull.”

            Zach entered the little pathway and pushed the insults and tortuous hopes out of his mind.  Getting through this was the only way he could survive.  He had to do this.  When he was halfway he saw hat there was a ten placed at the end of the roped off area and there was a line of people waiting to be admitted for something.  He picked up his pace.  Thinking was hard over the tumulus roar of onlookers and the boom of advertisements for some kind of show.  Zach was completely clueless that the show was him.

                                    *                      *          *          *                      *

            Baily was lying on the bed in her room watching Who Wants to be an Immigrant?  A group of new contestants have entered and they were getting signed in for the show.  The screen centered on a small boy, probably in his teens, at the top of a hill.  She could hear the crowd in the background let out a roar in pleasure.  She was a little disturbed.  She had seen every episode of this show but she had never seen a child want to be a contestant.  Something about it did not seem right.  She kept of watching as the boy walked through the cheering crowd and into the tent of admission.  The actual show was coming on soon.  The weird thing was that she did not feel like watching it.  She did anyway.

                                    *                      *          *          *                      *

            He was glad he had escaped into the tent.  The second he did the crowd outside went from roar to the hum of low voices in a symphony.  The tent he entered was fairly small.  The fabric was cloth or silk and was a strange red color.  Maybe a burgundy.  It reminded Zach of blood.  The tent was filled with a whole lot of people.  All of them had a sad look on their faces.  He understood why.  When he entered the tent he had signed a waver selling his life for the duration of crossing the border.  He was reluctant to sign but he remembered the attack on his town.  In the wilderness he would be an open target.  At least he had other people to hide behind here.

            A small plump man stepped onto a small stage erected in the corner.  He was wearing a green tuxedo and a bolo hat.  He cleared his little voice and spoke.  “Welcome contestants to Who Wants to be an Immigrant?  I am Harry, the co-president of the show, and I would like o say a couple of rules to this game.  Upon entering you signed your life away.  You win it back if you can make it across the border.   No one has made it yet so we are including a surprise if you make it through.  The only rules are that you cannot kill other players directly and you can not leave the path.  If you do either of these you are surrendering your life and you be killed on the spot.  Any questions?  No, good.  Let’s get to this.  The game is divided into three days.  The days end at the next tent.  When you get to them you have twelve hours rest.  It’s almost time to get started.  I’ll tell you when to go.  One at a time.”

            The next couple of minutes included lining up in some sort of order and waiting.  A couple of the other contestants were talking in whispers but Zach remained in his own little world.  Finally the tent flap opened and people started to walk out.  The people went back to a roar of applause as each person went out.  Zach went out when it was his turn.  The first step out of the tent left him breathless.

            A weird ruin was laid out in front of him.  The temples of some sort were designed like a pyramid and had stone carvings of each of the step-like levels.  Other buildings were crammed between these temples looking like little stumps in a forest.  All of the buildings were laid out in a horseshoe shape with a crystal clear pool lying in the middle of it all.

            Zach guessed that this is going to be like some kind of maze.  He guessed that staying in one place or not making enough entertainment would cause some kind of trap to trigger.  He also guessed that not many people are going to live through day 1.  A buzzer went off and he took off.  The crowd roared with joy when one man was slow to going and was trampled by the fairly large sum of contestants.  He survived but won’t live much longer.  Zach searched for a clue on how to get through the city.

            All of the large temples looked fairly easy to climb but he did not trust the ease of it.  Small doors at the base looked clear but they were probably full of traps.  The only thing that did not look very safe was the small buildings between the large pyramids.  Zach ran to the nearest one.  When he walked inside the sound of the crowd died a little.  A small TV passed through the doorway and hovered behind him.  Must be some kind of camera.  He looked around for some sign of what to do next.  The room he entered was fairly small.  A hole was in the center of the square room with the top of a ladder sticking through.  Zach climbed down.

            The chamber he descended into was small.  The light from the screen behind him was the only light.  He carefully walked away from the ladder.  This new room was massive.  The light from the TV did not show anything but the ground Zach was standing on.  A couple of feet away the ground turned black as if there was nothing there.  He stepped forward a couple of steps and dropped like a rock.  Luckily life in the wilderness has made his instincts sharp and he managed to grab onto the ledge right before he would have fallen to his doom.  His arm strained under the weight of his body.  He managed to get his other hand up on the ledge and pull himself up to his elbows.  With a groan, he lifted himself onto safety where he lay panting.  Three seconds into the game and I’m already out of breath. 

            The need to keep moving is what made Zach get up.  He made a quick circle and saw that there were only two paths.  Other than that this place was an island.  He chose one and followed it.  The path was fairly narrow but he had room to walk without fear of falling.  He gazed into the blackness trying to form something out of the shifting shadows.  There was a distant sound of water dropping into a pool and the flutter of some unseen animal.  Zach’s feet crunched with each step on the stone brick walkway.  In a couple of places there were weak spots on the path where he thought he would fall but he always managed to recover. 

            Finally, with great relief, the path widened to a platform.  Zach wandered around aimlessly hoping to find some sign that he had gone the right way.  Just before hopes were gone he saw a faint gleam of metal.  He ran up to it hoping it would be useful.  It was a steel ladder leaning up against the wall.  He joyfully mounted it wanting to get out of this crypt of darkness.  He climbed up but was dismayed when it stopped after a couple of steps.  Zach let go and dropped back to the ground but was surprised when he never hit it. 

            The wind whipped at his tattered clothes and Zach screamed at the top of his lungs.  He blindly reached his hand out hoping to find something to grab onto.  All he could feel was the darkness beating down on him.  Then he remembered the TV.  Zach spun around looking for the light and found it far above him.  Its light was very faint but was growing sharper.  He must have lost it momentarily after the fall.  He watched as the light grew larger and larger squinting his eyes from the wind.  The thought of the light didn’t occur to him until he saw the light of the TV on his back.  He went to grab for it but it was too late.  He braced for the impact.

            SPLAT!  The impact caused the ground to vibrate and sent a sharp pain up Zach’s back.  He arched it trying to pop the pain out of it.  What happened?  He flipped onto his stomach and pushed himself up.  The ground felt like normal ground but it had a gelatin like feel to it.  He had been saved by dirt jelly.  He popped his back and looked around.  He found he source of the light.  It was a door leading to outside.  HE happily ran forward and passed through the portal.  The brilliance blinded him for a second but as his eyes adjusted he took off running.  A blue tent was erected a couple of feet away.  When he got there he opened the flap and stepped inside.  He had made it through day one.

                                    *                      *          *          *                      *

            Baily squealed with delight when the boy, Zach, landed safely landed in a small bit of dirt jell-o.  The sight of the other contestants being crushed between ancient walls or pinned by poisonous needles did not match the unusual intensity created by the Zach boy.  She switched off the TV and lay down in her bed.  The show was off for the night and she was tired.  The new episode would show tomorrow and she wanted to be ready for it.

                                    *                      *          *          *                      *

            “All contestants wake up.  The next leg is about to start.”

            Zach got up.  He wiped the sleep from his eyes and looked around.  The people in the tent have been reduced by half in the first day.  He knew that it was going to be the same way until the end.  He was getting ready to stand up off of the palette that had been pitched for him when a man walked up to him.

            “You’re awfully young to be trying to get out of the American Wastelands.  Shouldn’t you have a mother taking care of you?”

            Zach looked up at the man.  “She’s dead.  Along with everyone else I have ever lone.  My town was attacked.”

            “That sucks.  Well I don’t think I could take it if I saw a kid die.  Wanna team up?”

            “Sure.  Better than being the only person on the last day.”

            The two shook hands.  People started to get in their place in line ready for day two.  Some announcement went off and the line proceeded out of the tent and onto day twos gauntlet.

            The layout was very different than yesterdays.  There were trees everywhere.  Some little pools of water were scattered through the undergrowth and sounds of animals cries kept the air alive with sound.  Small TVs gathered around the survivors and trained onto them. 

            A gunshot went off and the contestants went off.  Zach stayed next to the man he had just met and they headed into the thicket.  They dodged between trees conserving their energy in case of emergency.  After a while of walking the other man spoke.  “I don’t think I have your name yet.  What was it?”

            “I’m Zach.  And you?”

            “I’m Davis.”

            In the distance there was a blood curling scream.  Zach instinctively moved closer to Davis.  Animal sound continued echoing through the forest.  A couple of times there were a rustle of the bushes nearby but there were no instances.  The Spanish moss hung in thick beards from tree branches and mosquitoes buzzed around the two.

            When Zach was about to step over a log it started to move.  Zach screamed and recoiled as the creature spun and fixed two yellow eyes on him.  Its scaly brown body shuddered with the anticipation of a meal soon to come.  David grabbed a nearby branch and swung it at the creatures head.  It snapped into two pieces not even phasing the monstrosity.  Zach looked for something to defend himself but he could see nothing.  The creature moved forward and snapped its jaw.  It lunged.  Zach dodged to the left and hid behind a tree.  The monster landed with a splash inches away from his foot.  Zach looked up trying to find a low branch he could climb.  He jumped for the closest one as the creature jumped again. 

            Zach grabbed on and heaved himself up.  The jaws of the creature snapped just as Zach pulled his feet out of reach.  Zach saw David getting ready to attack again.  “David, don’t do it.  Go on.  I have this thing bust.  You can still make it.”

            The creature jumped again and David stopped.  “NO.  If anyone is going to go on it’s going to be you.”  David swung the branch.  The creature spun and grabbed the branch between its many teeth.  It snapped under the immense pressure sending splinters everywhere.  Zach’s hand slipped and he fell into the water next to the monster.  It spun and went to bite.  Zach grabbed a branch and swung vertically into the creature’s mouth.  As it bit down the jagged edges stabbed into the gums and got lodged.  The creature growled and stopped its lunge.  David threw his body onto the head of the monster.  The branch in the mouth punctured through layers of the skid and stabbed into its bran.  It stopped thrashing and a pool of blood bloomed from its mouth in the swamp water.

            David got up and pulled Zach to his feet.  “That was close.”

            The two looked at the body than moved on.      Their feet made a squishing sound with every step deeper in the swamp.  In the distance there were cries of pain and of surprise.  Most were cut off mid scream.  The two kept walking never looking back, never thinking of their old home.  That was all behind them.  All they thought about was the need to get into Mexico.  To escape the Chinese army and to finally get out of the same desert wasteland. 

            The sun was slowly setting and the environment stayed the same.  Many times Zach went to grab a branch for leverage to find out the branch was a snake.  Luckily the snakes all slithered away.  Zach’s feet started to hurt.  He leaned up against a slime covered tree and tried to catch his breath.  His legs feel like someone poured melted led into his veins instead of blood.  David balanced himself on a tree nearby.  “We should be in the safe house soon.  They can’t leave us out here to die overnight.  Not interesting enough.  Lets keep going a little bit farther.”

            “Okay.”  Zach pushed off the tree and started to tread on.  Right as he was about to give up he could see a light through the branches ahead.  It cast a weird glimmer on the surface of the clouded water.  “I see something.  I think it may be the safe house.”

            “Looks like it.  We finally made it.  Come on.”

            The two ran on eager to get to safety.  They left the swamp behind and sunk into a deep pool the next.  Not being aware of the sudden drop, Zach and Davis yelped and flailed their arms trying to keep at the surface.   Zach managed to regain his composure and lessened his strokes but Davis kept on swinging.  Zach swam over and tried to calm him.  Davis finally slowed to a steady balancing stroke.  Zach looked at the weird environment within the swap.  They had come out in some kind of lake.  Trees made a perfect circle where the swamp ended and the lake began, in the middle lay the safe house on a little island.  The two swam over and climbed inside.  They had made it through day 2.  One day before they win their freedom.  One more day until the end.  Neither of them knew that only one was going to get out alive.  Only one was going to live through the nightmare.

                                    *                      *          *          *                      *

            Day 2 is over and the crowd is going crazy.  This was the best series of traps they have ever seen in any series yet.  Jim laughed to himself.  This one show had given him everything he had ever wanted.  It had made him a king of a country.  It also got rid of the need to work.  What else could one need in life? 

            With day 3 being left he wanted the show to end with a bang.  No one had ever one and people would not like it if someone did.  There would be no gore, no violence.  He decided that the winner of this fiasco would have a little surprise after the last leg.  Now all that’s left is to prepare.  These last four people should not be too hard to kill.  After all,  they’re just Americans

                                    *                      *          *          *                      *

            Baily jumped out of her seat when she watched the alligator jump at Zach for the fifth time.  She was so glad he had survived so far.  If he would have died she would stop watching the show.  Maybe forever.

                                    *                      *          *          *                      *

            No more survivors came in that night.  There were only four people.  Everyone else is dead.  From one hundred to four.  Zach woke up early hoping to find some stuff out for the last day.  David was still asleep in his sleeping bag.  In one corner of the room there was a buffet set up.  Fruits of all varieties, some of which Zach had never seen, lined the table along with other beverages and meats.  Zach ran over and crammed handfuls in his mouth.  He had not eaten in three days.  Nothing had ever tasted so good in his life.  When his stomach was full he walked around the small tent thinking about what might lie ahead and what he was going to do when he got out of this. 

            While he was thinking a hooded man walked over to him.  Zach did not notice until the man tapped him on the shoulder.  Zach turned around and faced the man.  The man said, “I’m Harry.  There is something I have to tell you.  This game is not going to have any survivors.  The game master, Jim, has a firing squad lined up at the border to shoot anyone who approaches.  Once you cross you’ll be safe but that’s very unlikely.  Listen to this.  The crowd loves you.  The only way you’ll be able to survive is to ask them for help.  You cannot do this by camera because the game master will edit it out.  You will have to leave the course.”

            “What.  No.  That’s against the rules.  If I leave they will kill me.”

            “No, they won’t.  The crowd watching will protect you.  They will start to fight.  That is your opportunity to cross.  The firing squad will be focused on trying to stop the riot and will leave the border unwatched.  That is the only way you can make it.”

            “Why are you helping me?”

            “Because you’re the only hope.  The government is run by a corrupt man.  He is also the game master.  This show is what gave him his power.  Now this show will end it.  Don’t forget to go to the crowd.  It’s the only way.  I must go now.  Good luck.”

            The man walked off and Zach looked off as he left.   He had to start a revolt in order to survive.  Attention was the last thing he wanted and now he needed it in order to survive.  He decided that it would be last option.  There had to be other ways to survive that won’t draw snipers and every other person to him.  He walked over to David and shook him away.  “Show time.  Lets do this.”

            All the contestants lined up for the last time.  They lined up and left the tent.  It was night time but that did not lessen his view.  Plants of every kind were spread as far as the eye could see.  Most of the plants were massive flowers that glew in the pre dawn night.  Zach was left in awe of the amazing sight.  What could kill him in there.

            The gunshot went off and everyone took off.  The two other contestants ran off to the left and Zach and Davis charged strait ahead.  Every step raised a cloud of glowing dust into the air with a whoosh.  In the distance Zach heard cheering crowds and though of what the guy had said.  The only you can make it.  Him and Zach went on dreaming of how close the end was.  They did not even hear the mantis sneak up behind them and ready itself to attack.  David was the first to see the newcomer.  He screamed a warning to Zach but that was not enough.  Before it was too late, David jumped at Zach and pushed.  Zach hit the ground just as the claw of the mantis slid between David’s ribs and punctured his heart.  The mantis screamed with delight at it’s kill.  The little one had got away and that was not good but he had a meal to eat first.  Zach watched in horror as his new friend was swallowed by a large green insect.  Its two sword-like claws shined with the fresh coat of blood and his eyes trained on Zach.  Zach got up and ran.  Two blades cut the flower he had landed on in two.  It gave chase.  Zach dodged through patches of flowers trying to get away.  In the distance the screams on the fans got louder.  But these cries were different.  They weren’t cries of pleasure but that of fear.  They did care about his survival.

            Zach rolled under a downed stem and spun through giant stems.  Many times the mantis’s strike was inches away downing flowers like a timber company.  Zach ran on looking for something that might be enough to kill the thing.  It was then he though about the firing squad waiting at the border.  He changes his course to due south and sprinted.  Jumping over downed stems and dodging strikes Zach sped on.  The forest of flowers around him was not important anymore.  All that mattered was getting to the border to get the thing killed.  He jumped over another fallen stump and landed in a meadow.  Far ahead he saw a line of men.  They raised their guns and took aim.  Zach turned and jumped for the woods but a large mantis blade struck him in his middle and he flew off along the vegetation line.  He crashed in a cloud of shining dust.  Gunshots echoed in the air as the mantis fell into a lifeless clump.  His plan had worked.  The men in the distance took aim again as Zach jumped back into the flowers.  He was barley halfway in when a bullet pinned him in his right shoulder.  He cried out in pain.  He heard the unanimous gasp as watchers saw the splash of blood paint some flowers with its crimsoned hues.

                                    *                      *          *          *                      *

            Baily watches in horror as Zach got shot in his shoulder and collapsed on the ground.  She screamed at the TV than ran out of her house.  The border was nearby.  She could save him if she hurried.

                                    *                      *          *          *                      *

            The crowd watching the whole thing at the border started getting restless.  The boy they all loved had collapsed on the ground and was bleeding pretty badly.  The hoped he would get up and move again but he was relatively still.  The only movement he made was the stead rise and fall of his breast.  All of a sudden there was a gunshot followed by others.  The cameras switched to the border where the shots had come from.  A girl collapsed in the field halfway to the woods.  She had holes through many parts of her body and she instantly bled out.  The crowds would later know that the girl was twelve year old Baily.  Some people stood and shouted cuss words at the line of border watchers.  More people joined in.  Soon everyone in the country would join in on this revolt.  Zach would be the only person in the games to survive.  He would receive a medal of valor for his service to the country.  The president, Jim, would be hung in the town square for unauthorized assault on America and multiple charges of murder.  Baily had a memorial built in her honor.  Mexico flourished and became the most loved country in the world.

© 2010 Vyctm

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this is good but i think the ending was a bit weak. i think that could be fixed by going into more detail. by drawing out the conclusion because it feels like a very sudden ending even though you tie up all the lse ends. read through this I didnt see anything that was spelt wrong for lack of how to spell it but there are a couple of words missing a letter (like bran insted of brain). nice work

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Added on July 30, 2010
Last Updated on July 30, 2010



princeton, LA

I am not 18 years old. Writing has picked up over the last year. Working on an awesome adventure story. I hope you like it. more..