Dear Future Me

Dear future self,
It's me in the past
And I just have to ask
Have you acknowledged the pain on the shelf?

I know it's been hard
Because I was there for all of it
As people chopped you to bits
Forcing you to be on your guard

Did you ever let it down?
Enough so someone could get in
And help you forgive your own sins
Before you started to drown?

Did you change for the better?
Enough so everyone smiles at you
And comes to you when they feel blue
Or could you be greater

Just remember that the sky's the limit
But maybe you can reach for a star
Without getting greedy and going too far
Though its happened more than I'd like to admit

Dear future me
I'm calling from the past
To remind you to stay on task
Because you're the one to set us both free

Regardless of what someone will say
Just remember to stay true
To nobody except you and ONLY you
Because others might lead you astray

Do you finally trust your feeling
To guide you to where you need to go
And allow yourself to grow
So you can finally begin healing?

I know love and pain scare me
Did you ever push through that fear
So The One can get near
And make you forever happy?

Dear future
It's the past
Asking if we made it out of the storm at last
And that there was a silverlining to this torture

Author's Note

What do you think of the flow? I feel as though it started to fall apart towards the end. Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Reviews

[emmajoy]

A fascinating insight into thoughts and illusions, perhaps. A wish i was here.. and here.. and here, spreading remedies before the ills is intriguing and very cleverly written. As you the end, it winds down a little but why not.. everything's been said, you're allowed to fade as gently as the opening lines displayed almost tentatively. (Perhaps you could use the last stanza in question form?)

[Sami Khalil]

The title , the concept , the poem are all great...:)

[Dye]

I love the idea of his, a note to future you. I tried not to be all "Bill and Ted" when I read it (I might be aging myself with that remark, oh well. As for the flow it is very nice, but I do agree that you might have lost a little flow at the end. With these two:

I know love and pain scare me
Did you ever push through that fear
So The One can get near
And make you forever happy?

Dear future
It's the past
Asking if we made it out of the storm at last
And that there was a silverlining to this torture

I think, just because of the rhyme you had going with the others, first line and fourth line don't flow so easy with these, more so with "future and torture", me and happy seem to flow better. Otherwise, very nicely written however.

[Enigma]

To stretch our consciousness far ahead in time and observe our future selves... I like that idea. Would have so many things to say and so many questions to ask. I loved this. Well penned.

And thank you for all your amazing reviews. I'm glad you like my work. :)

[Ian Faraway]

Well you're a very talented poet, Enigmatic. My reviews only pointed out the obvious. :) And thank you for taking time to read and review. Glad you like it. -Ian

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I love this concept... and the well penned letter to yourself is heartfelt.
You must give yourself a chance to feel things and allow someone in (it's okay to make mistakes)... reading this makes me want to fold it up and put it in a treasure box so I can read it when I feel a tug of war with my own demons...Thank you for sharing such endearing words of wisdom. :)

[Ian Faraway]

I was going for almost a haunting sense of the fact that when we're somewhere in life, we tend to either look back or forward to what's next. Then we just wonder how it might be different and how it is different. Thanks for the read and I have my own treasure box with this poem officially in it (hope it doesn't sound too narcissistic). :) -Ian

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Not at all... I understand. :)
It's as if you have something tangible to hold on to...a special thought surmised...
I enjoyed reading it. :)

Nicely done!

[Ian Faraway]

I write a good poem every now and then that people can use. Haha. Thanks for the read and review. Need me to return the favor, just PM me the title and whatnot and I'll see what I can do. -ian

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Thank you for sharing your work, Ian...nice to meet you. :)
I'll keep that in mind. :)

[shallimarRose]

I thought it flowed well.. the concept actually a bit brilliant.. I did think in the very end it lost a bit but still a very strong piece.. I love it.. xo Rose

[Ian Faraway]

Awww man. Well thanks, Rose. I'll go back and see if I can fix it.