Iowa Temple

The Fewtch

I borrowed a guitar
from the deaf lady's daughter
carried it
on my back felt
the warmth about
the waist of the blonde

Stairs sunk
like rising water
like a sunset backwards
rises
massive spires curves like gold brick rainbows and blues

I saw her
and saw what

I wanted to see

the curves and lace

Reviews

[Corset]

loved best stanza two, especially the last line "massive spires curves like gold brick rainbows and blues"
and the visuals the backwards sunset gave, like the sun rising like a phoenix from the waves, very impressive and expressive.

[The Twin Arenas]

Thanks. I've worked on it a bit since I first posted it, but haven't edited it here. One of them was in regards to the line you mentioned. I broke it up into two - Massive spires curves like gold brick
rainbows and blues
I dunno. I'm not married to it, but I thought the length of that line looked kind of unseemly on the page, like an extra long toe or something. Maybe not, though. Thanks for the read, in any case.

[Corset]

I thought it was just a format thing, I read it broken up like this
"Massive spires,
curves like gold brick
"rainbows and blues"

[The Twin Arenas]

yeah, something like that. hell, i don't know. maybe i'll leave it. don't pick at it, as my mom would say.

[Corset]

wouldn't dream of it. :)

[The Twin Arenas]

Me, I mean. I shouldn't pick at it. You should. Please!

[Corset]

well, we have never been big on punctuation, if it floats our boat we must have vision! I dunno what I just said, but I loved the line so... (raspberry) leaves it alone friend!

[The Twin Arenas]

Yeah, I'm not big on punctuation in poetry. It doesn't need to be there. If E.E Cummings did it, we all can do it.

[Corset]

damn straight! whats good for the goose

[Ruth]

Oh, nice! Lovely path you took your reader down...left me many thoughts :)

[Olivia]

This is frigging amazing. I like your precise word choice and descriptions. It's beautiful

[marcus]

I'm not really on here much anymore, but I'm glad that I came across this one! Really good!

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Good poem, WS, almost surreal. Well done. :) Rudi

[jesserose99]

this was so abstract, and yet not, I loved it. so beautiful. your voice could not be replicated if someone tried.

[ANTO]

I loved that "stairs sunk like rising water" - damn - I wish I'd written that W.S.
I could see this raising a roof at a poetry/coffee shop. Magical.

[faryn wolff]

you are still my favorite poet.

[A.marie.speaks]

Beautiful imagery. You've made a great point, we see what we want to see in something or someone. Perception and interpretation are uniquely our own. I love the backwards sunset lines.

[FreedomFighter]

very riveting, great job i enjoyed it