What I Asked God

Short piece

I asked God to change the world back

because I didn’t like the scenery,

the morning I found the gun shoved

underneath the counter

and the letter creased neatly in

half and then fourths and then eights

and the pencil broken in two across the graphite stained floor.

 

I asked my dad to close the blinds

because the suns touch was too

warm on the places I used to hide

under my clothes on pool days

and folded over the covers in hopes

of maybe falling asleep.

 

I asked God to bring back the days when

smiles were real and
death wasn’t ever an option, it was strictly

a teenage taboo for people like me

who were seen as disconnected from day one

and always had something to say

but a mouth that refused to open.

I asked God to not change the world back

because I liked the scenery

on the evening the sun set, my eyes closed,

and I finally got enough sleep.

Author's Note

Wrote this one night because I was feeling extremely down and I had had the "I asked God to change the world back because I didn't like the scenery" line for months and decided I would try and turn it into something a bit more.

Enjoy xo

Reviews

[TheSweet]

I read this three times - which is kinda cool, as it is layered whether you intended it to be or not. :) I like it, it's not exactly a happy poem, but it certainly evokes empathy rather than sympathy, which is certainly something to appreciate.

Do be careful of your tenses, though. In the lines: 'and always had something to say but a mouth refusing to open.' you've swapped from past with 'had' to present with 'refusing'. But that's the only real criticism I have... It's a great poem. Thanks for sharing.

[Enigma]

Thank you! Didn't actually notice that I just sort of wrote this kinda fast in a way so I'll go back and fix that little error xo