In the Dark

A snippet from a book I'm still not finished with.

     I turned and in the last lantern's light, I saw Julian watching me from his space. His eyes danced in the light and he nodded at me, smiling. I ducked my head and turned off the lantern. And in the darkness I allowed myself to flush as I remembered Julian in my space, touching my books, how his gaze followed me whenever I walked past him where ever we were, his smile at me just a moment before. What he didn't know was whenever he looked at me, the spots where he once touched my hands tingled with the memory of his touch. I placed my hands to my cheeks as they warmed even more when I realized I had been standing there long enough for Julian to walk from his space to where I was. It was pitch black but, I didn't need light to know where he was. He was right in front of me, I felt his soft breathing on my skin and I felt the heat he radiated. I reached forward and let my hand trace the air above his cheek and jaw. I felt his hand stroke the air above my hair, I was tempted to lean into his hand and I did just that. He seemed to jump when my hair came into contact with his hand. “Riley?” Julian said breathlessly. I nodded, afraid of what my voice would sound like if I spoke. Hesitating for only a second, I placed my hand on his face and the other on his chest, stepping closer to his warm frame. I felt his breathing hitch as I leaned in and he leaned down, his hands moving to find my face. I murmured, “Julian,” simply loving the taste and feel of his name on my tongue and lips. And in the darkness he whispered back, “Riley.” Julian's lips met mine, strong and soft. I had never kissed or had been kissed other than on the cheek but, the two experiences were as different as a rock and a flower. Julian's lips moved against and with my lips in a rhythm that made a melody bloom in my mind. A melody I had long forgotten, came back crystal clear and I began humming as Julian pulled away. We stood still for a moment, the only sound my soft humming and his ragged breathing. His placed his forehead on mine and whispered, “Someday you'll have to tell me the name of that song.” I smiled and nodded. Julian's hand intertwined with mine and I felt his heart racing through his fingers. My fingertips moved of their own accord up to his face, tracing his lips, eyelids, nose, and chin. I heard a noise and knew it was Charlie getting ready for his patrol. I placed a quick kiss once more on Julian's lips and turned to leave. Our fingers unlaced as I reached the end of my arm's length. I looked back when I reached my space and I could no longer tell where Julian was. I fell asleep that night touching my lips and replaying our kiss, our perfect kiss that was swaddled in darkness and the warmth of our bodies.

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

Very good--sensitive and visual. You might consider defining "my space" for the sake of clarity in this snippet, even though I'm sure it is known in the larger work. Also, I believe a trimmed down, condensed version would make for better reading. Still, you show good writing skill and vivid imagination.