Insomnia

This is something I wrote back in July, I found it lying on my computer after a serious editing session.

I usually wake up at 6am - but I guess getting high the night before last night and sleeping half the day yesterday wasn't such a good idea. I didn't get any sleep last night, and was thinking of watching the sunrise outside. So I'm here at around about 5.30am, and no sun. It's winter and it's Sunday. I know I'm not going to get sleep on the bus ride home, but this feels good. I like being up and doing things before people. Even if my waist jeans are coated in the smell of weed. This makes me sound like I'm from the 70's, but I'm not. It's 2012, and I'm listening to my favourite band, The Amity Affliction, I'm 15. These are supposed to be my best years, it's really not. It's one fucked up thing after the other... And I'm documenting it on my iPod touch, 'the old version'. Well I suppose this, is a better time than ever to start documenting my life. As I look at the s****y yellow van out the front of my friends house; that was supposed to have a big party and only one person turned up to. I'm starting to wonder, if this is going to be as good as it gets for me. With the taste of vodka cruiser mixed with lemonade in the back of my throat, and the chill winter morning air on my hands as I write this down. In someone's garage that's too small for a car, that reminds me of a surfers hangout place that are always turning up on tv. This is life so far and it has turned out very, very s****y and to make matters worse I got my period yesterday. I believe this is what the infamous Charlie Sheen would call as 'winning' but I would call it the 5am epiphany of the climb up from rock bottom. Then again what do I know, I've only done things some people in their 90's still dream about doing.