Gia

An elf enters the room, ears sharp enough to cut through glass.

 

Gia rested her pale hand against the silky wooden door, her fingers long and perfect. They could have been the fingers of a pianist, but Gia had never had the patience to learn the instrument.  She moved with the grace of a dancer as she gently pushed open the door, which emitted a soft squeal, and entered the room.

The room was as pale as Gia’s milky skin, the plush carpet giving off the appearance of undisturbed snow, and was filled with ordinary people. Humans. All of them different sizes and shapes and colours, from the corpse-like pallor of a portly older man in the corner to the rich darkness of the elfin-figured young lady near the window. Of course, she wasn’t an elf. Her ears, uncovered by her tied-back hair, were perfectly rounded. Human.

Gia unconsciously touched the pointed tip of one of her ears. It was sharp enough to cut glass. She knew it was perfectly plausible to do, since she had tried it once when she was very young. Only seventeen, she had been, which was twenty years ago when she had still been a small child. The elves lived long lives, and took a long time to reach maturity. For human standards, Gia would have only appeared seventeen now when she was in truth thirty-seven. Still an adolescent in the eyes of the elves.

One young man sitting on a white, completely unblemished couch touched his own ear. It was hidden behind long, dark hair. Gia’s hair was white-blonde, not an uncommon colour among the elves. She smiled at the young man, who stood with grace that made Gia die a little inside. She would never be that graceful.

“Hello, Gia,” said the young man as he approached her. “I have been waiting for you. My name is Pem.”

Gia smiled shyly as she always did when meeting a male elf. “Hi.”

Pem took Gia’s hand in one of his, which was infinitely more beautiful. “Come in, Gia. Sit with me.” Pem led her to the couch. Gia felt clumsy and awkward beside him. How did he walk like every move was perfectly choreographed in a dance?

Gia sat down, concentrating on matching Pem’s motion. She failed miserably. Pem sat with her, his dark brown eyes open and friendly as they stared into Gia’s pale silver. Someone coughed, a wheezing cough of a dying man, and it broke Gia’s absorption. They were not among elves, she remembered. They were among humans, who were so fragile and fallible that it would not have been a surprise if one of them had dropped dead right then.

“Mortality will claim all of us one day,” Pem whispered in her ear. “This is what I have brought you here to teach you. We are not good at accepting our own frailty like humans are.”

Gia sighed. Pem must have been one of the Gifted Ones, who were born with innate magical abilities. Only a Gifted One could carry such wisdom at such a young age. He was only slightly older than Gia was. Pem’s status as a Gifted One also explained his beauty, how it even outshone that of Gia. Gia’s only advantage given to her was her remarkable good looks as she was incredibly fair even by elven standards. Yet, she had a gut feeling that Pem had something more to tell her.

“Gia,” he said softly. “We have been watching you for a long time, waiting for you to blossom and join us. You are nearly ready. Soon you will become a Gifted One.”

Gia blinked. “But how can you tell?”

Pem chuckled. “My brother’s gift is determining the potential of others. He was very impressed by you, as am I.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” Pem smiled a heartbreakingly beautiful smile. “Even to me, the signs are obvious. You are particularly perceptive to the world around you. There’s no exact way to tell how your gifts will manifest themselves, but I think you might become a Reader.”

“What’s a Reader?” Gia asked. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. Someone was watching her. She twisted around in her seat and the older man she had noticed before quickly averted his eyes.

“I suppose that answers my question,” said Pem. “You sense things. Different elves sense different things, but we will find out in time.”

“Oh. Okay.” Gia still felt edgy. “Something doesn’t feel right.”

Pem looked around and his eyes grew black for a moment. “You’re right. This place isn’t safe.” Even the leafy green ferns outside the window suddenly seemed ominous. Pem pulled Gia to her feet and rushed her out the door. The door slammed shut behind them as they escaped from a danger unknown.

Author's Note

The picture is not mine, as is the case with all the pictures I've used for my stories thus far.

Reviews

[Twilight]

This was a pleasure to read. To make it even better, why not add a little background information? Also, your paragraphs could be longer. At present, it reads slightly like a theatrical or TV script.

More detailed descriptions of the key characters, would also help to make this more interesting for the reader. As another reviewer has suggested, it would be nice if you added to this piece! It may be worth submitting to the "Beyond Fantasy" Group on this site (of which I am also a member), for others to read, share or review?

I noticed that you have another piece which references writer's block. That may be worth including in my own Group, "Twilight's Disciples"? Keep reading, writing, sharing and reviewing, Ann Elise!

[Crashbang]

'her fingers long and perfect.'

-Perfect isn't helpful description, and it doesn't give us an idea of what her fingers are like apart from the longness of them.

'She moved with the grace of a dancer as she gently pushed open the door, which emitted a soft squeal, and entered the room.'

Why would she move with the grace of a dancer as she walks towards a door? That needs rewording. She swept to the door, she walked with a feline grace... you get the idea.

'The room was as pale as Gia's milky skin,'

-You repeated room too quickly after the last paragraph. Tell us what the room is used for instead, or something similar.

'and was filled with ordinary people. Humans.'

You could just have humans, instead of 'ordinary people'.

'Of course, she wasn't an elf. Her ears, uncovered by her tied-back hair, were perfectly rounded. Human.'

Again human is implied by the sentence before it.

'One young man sitting on a white, completely unblemished couch touched his own ear. It was hidden behind long, dark hair. Gia's hair was white-blonde, not an uncommon colour among the elves.'

You need to find a better place to add in the description, preferably nearer the start where she is walking gracefully toward the door. Putting it in here is strange.

'She smiled at the young man, who stood with grace that made Gia die a little inside. She would never be that graceful.'

That repetition again.
Okay. You have a good piece but the ending needs to rack up the tension. Maybe she could feel a sudden hostility in the room around her. Maybe suddenly the lights dim. You know of the threat, the reader doesnt but you can provide tiny elements that rack up the fear but dont reveal the 'danger unknown.'
Check for the things above as well. Repetition can catch a reader out. Read this aloud and find those faults that you cant see just from reading it back. Then revise it.

Also, try and find a better way to explain who Pem is. Try and imply how important and powerful he is, rather then telling us directly.

Revise and keep writing, and feel free to ignore any of this :)

[Deepshikha]

Oh, I really like this. Your descriptions are wonderful, and I like the cliff-hanger at the end! Wonderful!
"Only seventeen, she had been," is a little awkward, but that's all I really noticed.
I'd really like to read more of this!