~ The Demise of the Privateer (Part 2.)

~ Everyone has a story about the sea

~ The Demise of the Privateer (Part 2.)

 

 

 

 

-       1639 “The Flemish Coast”

 

 

He was a good sailor, in his younger years

The first lieutenant from Flanders

One of the finest ship pirates 

And the many cabins, they where rich

The wood layer that stood bold and

And even an blind could hear the masts

 Fluttering in the right direction

 

The wooden ship, had a typical noise

The swell made her cracking beautifully

Ropes were tightly lashed for storms to come

As the North Sea could haunt when weather

Wasn’t in their advantage, Julien took the helm

Not knowing that the ship was cursed

 

A huge storm came, and he had the rudder

Into the right direction, it was too late

He saw nothing than an high wave

And he and his crew capsized, into

The layers of the deeper ocean

Were they went down in fate

 

Julien chocked and had his last vision

The salty water reached his throat

He only could think of the woman

He lost one year ago, after forcing himself on her

And saw his own death now as she did

He could only wish, it wasn’t that painful

 

He lost his consciousness and it was quiet

No more thoughts, left on the Oh’ so useless

Seabed, full of algae and dark substance

In the distance their lay another ship wreck

On the bottom already perished, and in dissolution

But from one of the windows came light

 

It was the Green Nymph of the North Sea

She swum to him, and touched his hair

Discovered his face, as she recognized him

Other sea nymphs accompanied her in a circle

Around him, she blow him back to life

He developed his gills and looked her in the eye…

 

 

~ To be continued

 

 

 

~ Elisa Laura

 

 

Author's Note

Part 2.

Enjoy!




Based on true facts, and my mixed fantasy.
(The Dunkirkers are one of my ancetors)


Thank you xx

Reviews

[Horizon K.]

Oh, very mysterious and I wonder how does the nymph know him and anything to do with the woman he previously lost. Written in such a melancholy poetic air, so very enjoyable, as I can picture the sails and wooden ship, and this drowning mans face as the nymph brings him back to life at the bottom of thd sea... A few grammar things... An blind could be the blind... Cracking beautifully could be crack beautifully or cracking beautiful depending on how you want to convey.
And sorry for so long in reviews my dear sis.
xx Horizon

My dear sister, thank you for the help, on this piece, really I so appreciate it... going to edit a little later tonight I hope... I'm sorry too, It's hard to find time for each and everyone... in between rushing life. But I so appreciate you... thank you for reading part 2. and all the help! xxx sis

[Sugar Plum ♥]

beautiful and make me so curious to read more from the story! I feel like i`m watching little movie and see clearly all images and characters in it, makes me to go far away and also sink deeply in my thoughts about the sea..your story-poem reminds me of early Romantic era stories of Heine...so nice!
{nia}
7.56 pm
31.03.13

You're just brilliant love.... ;) and you know why! :) thank you so very much... again, for all you did for me tonight.... x

[Brielle Cartny]

Oh my goodness i love this!! First i like the name of the character! Second this was so sad and tragic but it made me think about what life is all about. When we die the only thing we can look on before that is all our regrets. Thinking of his love before he died was super emotional. He lost all faith and then he was rescued. Humans love to give up when they think its the end, but there is a new adventure waiting for us.

Thank you so much Brielle for reading part 2. and your wonderful words... :)

[Vic]

The music blended perfectly and brought it to life! I absolutely love your work.

Thank you for popping in on (part 2.) :) glad you liked it...

[TheSweet]

Very interesting progress. I'm almost imagining this as would be re-written in length as a full story and I think there's definitely depth enough in it. :) That being said, there are a few words and grammar I'd change slightly even in this poem style - but it's me being pedantic, really. :P

Thank you, Oh please say me so.... I'm here to learn, and get my English better, I appreciate honest feedback thank you Sweets for reading also this part :)

[TheSweet]

Well it's mainly where you've put 'an' instead of 'a' is the proof-reading I can do. But I'm not sure I know how to explain the rule in order to help you here. And there are certain words that it's better to suggest rather than say. It's a 'showing not telling' rule in writing you probably know of - but here I'd say words like 'Rape' are strong to just say - but to suggest makes is sound smoother. So changing it to: 'He lost her one year ago, after forcing himself on her' or something along those line, if you get my meaning. :)

Great thanks a lot yes I know what you mean with the a and an problem I have, sometimes I write especially that error even like where or were I confuse often, something in my brain he he... Thanks for helping me out, I will change it later tonight x

[Tree]

Enchanting, and compelling. And the fact that you are succeeding in telling this rich tale in a non native language speaks highly, of your determination. I am captivated and curious to know why she saved him? can forgiveness still be found in the Green Nymphs heart? I will continue this journey..

Thank you so much dear poet. You will find out.... it says a lot of my own personality secretly too... mixed with fantasy and true history. x

[An owl on the moon]

What a wilding, wondrous, rich story of the sea... one that cries above the waves to be heard... Yes, and there is more to be shared, and I'm thankful for that! A dark delight.

Ooh thank you so much dear friend and poet, glad you liked it. And thank you for reading Part 2. of my series of the North Sea and the Dunkirkers. Always nice to have you by!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Revenge is a dish best served cold... and seeing someone suffer is better than seeing them die.

Read all the parts Dale, and thoughts will change, thank you dear one! xo

[emmajoy]

In spite of and because i'm reading this in the wrong order, it's absolutely captivating .. like unwrapping a special gift. Your descriptions of the ship going down and Julien being found by the Green Nymph is done in your wonderful English and just trills along very smoothly. Love it!

That's so great to hear Emma, I just try my best at English, it's sometimes very difficult, but I do love to puzzle all out :D you're the best! xo

[Corset]

hoho..ride the windy gale, set the stormy sail and crash upon the waves of love,lol...you are on a roll, telling stories of the high seas! love it!

Haha love you reading backwards :D lol.... :D

Thank you dear poetess... yes, this are stories of my own ancestors.
I'm from the sea robbers, long way ago... :) Belgium/Dutch/Spanish

[Corset]

how exciting to have swashbucklers for ancestors, now wonder you are so imaginative and free spirited, I think you have a bit of gypsy blood lol

Haha lol yes like a big mixed cocktail "swashbucklers lol" thats a new word for me.... Have to look that up :) xx