2. Oh Boy

zo•an•thro•py (zoʊˈæn θrə pi)

n.

a mental disorder in which one believes oneself to be an animal.

 

Do you know that quick flashback of your life people say you have before you die or when you think you are about to die? Yeah, did not happen. I spent the last seconds of my meek existence drooling over my super hot killer. Yup, that happened. After he threw the curtain that was so bravely giving me shelter aside, we both just....stared. At each other. Not that I noticed him staring at me too, because I was too focused on looking into his mesmerizing bright blue eyes.

Then, still in some kind of trance, my eyes wandered across his high cheek-bones, strong jaw-line, kissable lips, and short, jet black hair. That looked so soft you could....Ahhh!! What was I doing? He broke into my apartment! He was clearly a psycho. As much as I wanted to convince myself of that, my eyes kept going downwards. Let's just say: OH MY MOTHER EFFING GOD. He should be illegal. His form-fitted grey shirt, fit him so well you could see the outline of his obviously amazing body. ABS! ABS! ATTENTION! ABS! He didn't wear his jeans like most wanna-be guys do that makes their Mickey Mouse underwear noticeable either, no, he even wore his jeans the actual cool way. And it looked good. Now about that drool hanging from my mouth.....

''You can relax, I didn't come here to kidnap you,'' the guy said after he got back from his once-over of me, and apparently confused my expression of someone who was too paralyzed by fear to move. I'd rather he knew the truth, I wasn't THAT big of a scaredy-cat. The comment made me come back to reality too, giving me back my confidence and attitude. I crossed my arms over my chest, and raised an eyebrow.

''So then what are you doing exactly?'' I questioned, eyeing the empty yellow flower pot behind me, considering it as a weapon. He mimicked my pose, which looked way better on him because it made his biceps show more, and I tried to pull my eyes back to his face. That was not helping either, so I ended up staring at a funny, framed-picture above his shoulder, hanging on the wall across the room.

''I was just interested in seeing who...Kepi Hunter was,'' then, as if he was recalling something, a cheeky smile spread across his face, ''and now I know that she is a weirdo who watches horrible horror movies like Alice in Alice, all alone in her kid PJs, stuffing her face in food. I also know that Kepi Hunter is an insomniac who somehow manages to take all those food that are on the table, from the fridge to the table, but can't accomplish a task as simple as tying her hair in a bun, with a bowl of popcorn clutched between her thighs, without turning the floor into something that resembled the amount of blood shed in World War 2.'' By the end of the sentence, he was practically choking from with-held laughter, and when he saw the horrified look on my face, he fell on the floor laughing his a*s off. I've never seen ROFLAO in real life before this. Let's just say, my face could've competed in the contest of ripest tomatoes and won no competition. Psycho killer here to maim me be damned! I was in full anger mode now. How dare he commit B&E in my apartment just so he could laugh at me, in my face!?

So what did I do? Obviously, the only thing any sane person would do, I jumped him. Okay, maybe not any sane person, but that's what I did. I tackled him to the floor, technically I just jumped on him because he was already on the floor, and straddled him with my hips, holding his hands to the side. It was actually quite comfy. Stunned by my act, he calmed down a little, but he was still sporting an amused expression.

''Are you actually holding me down with your body?'' He asked incredulously, like he couldn't believe his eyes that a girl my size would attempt this to a guy his size. Well, I thought smugly, he should've realized by now that I am not ordinary, he even said so himself. He shouldn't be so surprised. I was straddling him with my hips on his lower stomach. I was leaning over him, holding his hands on his two sides against the floor. If it was possible my cheeks became even more red when I realized that he was letting me straddle him, because he could've gotten out of my hold long ago. He was not even struggling, just smiling, like he enjoyed it. When I realized this, I unconsciously loosened my hold, and he took that moment of weakness on my part, to switch roles. Now I was on the floor being straddled by him. This was so not the plan. I tried to wiggle my way out from under him because we were way too close, but it was useless.

''It's like hitting a wall!'' I didn't realize that I actually said that out loud until I heard him chuckle. I stopped struggling. ''Why are you here?'' I tried to get to the point. He looked at me for a moment, then sighed. Like he was having fun, and he was resigned at the fact that whatever he was going to answer would ruin it. He leaned back and let my hands loose, but he was still sitting on my hips, so I couldn't move away. Yet.

''You are not normal, Kepi Hunter,'' he started, but I cut in.

''I thought we already discussed that,'' I said, crossing my arms on my chest again, trying to look a little more intimidating. It obviously failed, because I was lying on the floor, with my hands crossed across my chest. Even my potential killer smiled faintly. But I didn't uncross my hands, and waited for him to continue.

''Kepi,'' I was still trying to get used to the fact that he knew my name, which meant he knew more about me than I about him. ''You want answers? Let me finish. I meant, you are not normal as in you are not human.''

''Sexy-Psycho-Killer-Guy-Who-Broke-Into-My-Apartment-To-Maim-Me say what!?'' I sqeaked out in horror. I hoped he didn't catch onto the 'sexy' that accidentally slipped out. But like always, fate is too kind. He smirked.

''Sexy-Psycho-Killer-Guy-Who-Broke-Into-My-Apartment-To-Maim-Me? That's a long nickname don't you think? Try something shorter like, Sexy-Guy-Who-Committed-B&E-Just-So-He-Can-See-What-You're-Like''

''That is not shorter at all''

''Well, it can always just be Sexy-Guy'' he suggested. He will never let that one alone will he? Just my luck, the sexiest guy I've ever seen in my life happens to be an over-confident cocky jerk. Who came to kill me. Then something occured to me.

''Wait, how do you know my name and what do you mean by 'wanted to know what you were like'?'' I said, mimicking his deep voice. He grabbed onto my upper arms, as if to make sure I didn't bolt.

''Like I said, you are not human. How do I know? I'm not human either. When I found out that there was someone else, I was curious to see who it was. But I only had a name.''

''Okay, wait what?'' Instead of everything making sense, this just made my simple theory of him being bonkers even more confusing. ''What the f**k are you going on about?''

''Okay, I guess I'll just have to prove it to you by showing you,'' he pulled me up, then started to pull me somewhere, but I resisted.

''Wait, no! I don't want you to show me anything, I....believe you. Totally, not human...yeah! Umm, totally.'' I saw way too many horror movies to be too stupid to follow him anywhere. My apartment was the safest bet of survival. I had two roommates, Molly, my best friend who was supposed to be here tonight but was out having fun, and Blair, my other best friend, who was visiting family out of town. So both of them were consequently not here, but it still made me feel safer to stay here.

''You don't believe me, you're just scared,'' he said, and with that, he pulled me through the balcony doors. It was freezing and I shivered. The sound of the city bustle somehow more comforting then the sounds of Alice in Alice playing in the living room.

''Okay you are right, I still think you are delusional, but I am not going anywhere with you'' I tried to say as I was being pulled forcefully across the balcony, and towards the fire staircases outside.

''Why are we up the fire ladders?'' I said curiously after I finally stopped struggling and grudgingly followed him up the stairs. We were on the floor above us when he answered. I could see the TV going through the windows, and I briefly thought of banging on their balcony doors, begging for shelter and a call to 911. But this guy was crazy, and I didn't want to risk upsetting him.

''So we can reach the roof,'' he said.

''Why do we need to go to the roof?'' A new plan formed in my mind. I could annoy the crap out of him, and maybe he would get so irritated that he'd let me go.

''So no one will see us.''

''Why can't no one see us? Are you gonna grate me with a cheese grater?''

''No.''

''Are you gonna throw me off the roof?''

''Why would I do that? You'd be found, and anyways, I'm not here to kill you.'' We were getting closer to the roof now, just a couple more floors because my apartment was on a high floor already.

''Then why are we going up?''

''Why not?'' I could feel him getting more and more annoyed, yes! The plan was working.

''That's not an answer.''

''It is.''

''Is not.''

''Is too.''

''Not.''

''Is.''

''Nuh-uh.'' We were on the roof now and he turned to me. His eyes were somehow...different. The same color, but more cat-like. Weird. I could've sworn his eyes were normal human eyes before.

''Yah-uh,'' He countered.

''That is the worst comeback in comeback history,'' I said.

''No it isn't.''

''Yes it is.''

''It isn't.''

''Is.''

''Isn't.'' Oh no! Not this again, we'll never get to the point. Oh well, maybe it's giving me more time to think of a brilliant escape plan.

''Arghh!'' He growled in frustration, and before I knew it, he pounced.

The force of the knock threw me backwards a couple feet, landing me on the floor again. My eyes were closed, waiting to be stabbed to death or something, I waited, but nothing happened. I could feel someone, or something, breathing heavily a mere inches away from my face. I could feel them over me, but not touching. Slowly, I opened an eye, and quickly closed it back. What the hell? What. The. Hell!? I couldn't see Sexy-Guy anywhere. Instead...No, that can't be. So I opened both eyes this time to make sure, and it was still there, flesh and blood. Instead of Sexy-Guy, a huge leopard with familiar intense blue eyes stared back at me. It was feline eyes, not human, but the shade of blue was exactly the same. I couldn't believe it. It couldn't be. He couldn't be. But he was, right in front of me. I was paralized by shock. And then the leopard bent down and licked me right across the face. Ew.

Author's Note

Comment if you liked! I always like to know what people thought of my stories. This is just for a laugh. Teenage fiction.

Reviews

[Cedric D. Jr.]

This is a great chapter to what is bound to be a great story. I am impressed with your writing skills, too. The story practically carries itself inasmuch as it's funny enough to keep the reader wanting more, and the actual plot is very original. Given that you begin with the notion that the interloper has broken into the main character's home with the intent to kill her based solely on the logic that he is likely a "psycho-killer," the plot takes some inevitable twists, and the suspense you create from this situation is developed very well. In lieu of the humor riddled throughout, the reader is still tense enough to be concerned that this lovable main character with whom we relate will most likely die. Readers are concerned about that early, too, because of just how lovable the character is; she's incredibly human despite the ironic fact that she is apparently inhuman.

I didn't expect to see a spunkier character for the Spunkiest MC contest than the protagonist, Reinhardt, but Kepi undoubtedly has spunk. So much so, that I'll be casting my vote for her now that I've read all three entries. She's extremely relatable, extremely human, and extremely abnormal. Under the circumstances with which she was faced, no one would have jumped this man, and her spunk seems to almost ooze from her personality organically as it did when she unwittingly said aloud the funniest nickname of all life. Great story.

[WritingGeek_BookWorm]

Thank you so much for the amazing review! I am really glad you emjoyed it so.