Over There (tenative)

He looks out over the river, knowing this is it.  There is no turning back once he takes this step.  Once he just walks off…

            His mind snaps back into a focus on his surroundings: he stares at the water, watching it meet the sky with such beauty and embrace that it seems like something only lovers can duplicate.  Birds coast over waves as boats come and go and people just move on; but they never see him standing up here.  But, that is why he is here, right?  That is why he is leaving?  They never see him.  He just cannot stand the loneliness and the pain and the…no, no.  He pushes thoughts and emotions back into his psyche as he fights a tear that wants to roll hard down his face.  He brings a gloved hand up to pull his hair out of his eyes.

            He holds the glove close to his face, smelling the scent of wool and jasmine, just like all the things his grandmother knit for him.  He wonders what it will be like, if small things like a smell or a taste will be enough to comfort him over there.

            There.  The other side…

            No, no…it is ok.  They will understand.  Or will they?  Even with the note, will the “Why…?” and “Could have…?” be too much?  He brushes the hair from his face again before finally pulling it back into the short ponytail he usually wore.  The wind on this waterfront walkway was amazingly, yet annoyingly, powerful.  He looks back out over the water and sighs.  It is hard to face such a decision with the beauty he had staring him long and hard in the face…hell, it was staring him long and hard in his soul.

            He grips the railing tighter as he thinks about what just a few feet would do to his life…

            It would change.

            Well, obviously it would change.  It would probably end.  No, it would definitely end.  But is that not the point?  Why else would he do this?  Why else would anyone do this?  It was all for the bright light and the face-to-face with God, right?  Maybe then he could get some questions answered.

            But…will he be let in?  Is the purpose of leaving all this behind so he can move onto something better, something heavenly?  Or is the leaving itself enough to have him sitting on the outskirts of that heavenliness?

            He takes a deep breath.  He is going to do this.  Screw the world.  Screw his friends, his family, his church…he loved them all, but this is how it has to be.  He steps over the railing, holding his Bible in his hand, and looks up to the sky.

            “This what You want?  This is where Your plan has led me…so c’mon, show me…” he whispers.

            He steps forward, feeling the rush of wind as the world enters slow motion…

 

 

 

            He hits the boat deck quickly, handing his ticket to the captain.

            “Norway?  Well…what you going there for son?”

            He smiles, knowing this is the first chance of many…

            “I’m leaving this world…this life…and taking up Christ’s life as my own…can I talk to you more about it on the trip?”