Insomnia

My demons come out to play at night.
They keep me up, deprive me of a chance to escape.
They make me think that death is right.


My eyes decide to weep in bed.
Before I know it, my body is a waterfall.
My mind takes a leap, now it's dead.


My wrists, they bleed while I'm asleep.
Maybe this time I'll lose enough blood to leave.
If not, the next cut will be thrice as deep.


At last it's time to say goodbye.
Insomnia has won this battle.
I can't sleep; the best shot of peace I have is to Die.

Author's Note

I'm open to suggestions of places to change.

Reviews

[lua]

a perfect portrayal of the destructive side of insomnia and the feeling of 'losing' to this abstract entity

[Celine Heath]

Thank you Lua!!

[matrixmark]

Very very dark, like being inside the mind of someone who has reached their tether and the only option is grim death.

Dark but nicely written.

Mark.

[Celine Heath]

It's nice to know I managed to get my thoughts across in an effective manner, thank you very much!

[matrixmark]

You're welcome.

Mark.

[DuncansDexterity]

I like the personification of the parts of the body (My demons, my eyes, my mind, my wrists). It gives a sense that this is not something you can't control. Almost like they are cavorting with insomnia to create this misery.

[Celine Heath]

Thank you very much!

[Pete]

uh wow. very dark and macabre. this captures the dark feelings very well. maybe too well. this is very sad but you write it so well.

[Celine Heath]

Thank you very much

[Gee]

Hi, I think I've said it before, syllable counting to give an even cadence would make the reading easier on the ear( if read aloud) ..

My demons come in the dark of night,
from them I cannot flee,
no hope of peace when sleep deprived.
perhaps death will set me free.

[Ashish]

Wow! That's amazing to describe Insomnia
"My wrists, they bleed while I'm asleep.
Maybe this time I'll lose enough blood to leave. "
So good lines :)

[Celine Heath]

Thank you.

[Neal S]

Laying in bed at night unable to sleep can be some of the worst times for the mind. To much time to think. Dark but still a nice piece.

[Celine Heath]

Thank you!

[Mjh1972]

You worry me so much, great writting but very dark!

[Celine Heath]

I'll take that as a compliment! Thank you.