Untitled

They wanna bury me. Body bag, carry me. Lay me 6 ft under. Make me start to wonder. Who do I got but myself? When I rot. I ain't taking no one else. Wont see another face see My people left this place. Left without a trace. Went to better states. Where they wont be chased. Lives in memories we cant erase. I'm moving at a fast pace. But I Cant slow down my life is a race. Need to escape from this place. I'm guilty for the case. Too many gone. Lives were raised wrong. Men think they’re king kong. Women wearing thongs. Went from sucking lolli pops to sucking dick. Using pencils to using bicks. We think we sick. Take a flick. Kodak lost its moment. When it shot my people’s pic. Even if we keep it within. Evidence cant be hidden. Flowers bloom while we rest in a womb. The truth comes out. Starts to sprout. People scream some start to shout. Bullets fly its time to look out. So we duck for protection. Check our section. Make better selections. And rearrange our directions. To better paths and better roads. To a life that has no codes. Where the answer is clear. And heaven is near. A place with no fear. So I don’t shed another tear.

Reviews

[Ryan]

This piece was alright I thought. It definitely had some meaning and got to the point. Just a tip, sometimes rhymes can lead astray from the whole message from the poem. Its good to have some rhyme don't get me wrong. But if you rhyme just to make a rhyme and it doesn't quite fit, it takes away from the uniqueness and power of the statement you're trying to get across. Keep it up though you've got some good ideas!

[YoungT]

Thank you for the advice. I will try not to force rhyme.

[mattavelli]

Nice rhyming. It's like a rap, ya?

[YoungT]

Thank you. Yes it is.